Monday, June 24, 2019

never stopped loving

never stopped loving - jeremy camp 
You kept on calling my name
Through all my darkness and haze
Even when I had fell apart
You held me close to Your heart
When I have gone astray
How You would chase me
When I was so afraid
You would embrace me
You never stopped loving
You never stopped loving me
Over and over again
You prove a faithful friend
From here, You'll never turn away
'Cause You're love, You cannot forsake
~
in life we have many things to learn from
years and years pass and memories fade. 
but years after, looking back on it all. i think that maybe some things actually came from God. that those meant something in and itself. not just to learn for future times, but in that moment itself. well i can't turn back time and it was gonna end up this way anyway, although no question that i could have done much better as a human being in that time. my excuse is that i was very young and inmature back then.which is true. but hey God helped answer da prayers and it worked out ok in the end right? a happy ending for everyone in various ways. ok my fairytale knight hasn't come. but there were other happy starts and happy things. and hopefully i have forgiven and been forgiven as well, for various things i might have done. 
in the end, what i learnt from it is that, although i love to plan ahead and strategize what im gonna do later, sometimes it is right in the moment that we need to focus. not on something nebulous in the far future. its in the person right next in front of you that is impt. not some possible knight in shining armour that may come in ten years time but the person with you right now. not that the knight ever seems to come, but that's a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY ALTOGETHER. lol. or maybe he came and left. a short story, not a novella. a very very short story. 
but hey, it might have been short but at least it was short and sweet. at least it didn't end in a long dragged out matter, at least it didnt spawn about ten asterix-the-bard-worthy poems that could be published in my fav poetry online journal (can i put all this in my cv ah?). at least i knew i did the right thing. didn't offend anyone or anything (you would be surprised at how easy it is to do that). 
and me? i will board the next plane to whereever msf will bring me to, if they will have me. i dont think even the most armoured knight would be able to accept someone who needs to fly off to a war torn country every year sadly. but if anyone knows of such a person pls let me know. 

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