Saturday, March 30, 2019

love will find u where u are

post night musings for the thousandth time

sometimes it feels more like extreme exhaustion, rather than extreme medicine. hahah those halycon days spent doing quizzes in skh ed, on quiet nights browsing the internet looking at extreme medicine courses (when we still had internet). back when i still was new to adult ed and was studying "causes of chest pain, approach to SOB" hahah it feels like i was so young and idealistic then, when actually i was completely jaded beyond belief. funny how i feel happier and younger after working like for 5 years + now compared to when i was just a baby peds mo. life works in truly strange ways

anyway i was supposed to do chill and fun stuff today post night BUT i fell asleep. deep asleep. and thus my post night day was spent.

but i think ? God might be helping me with something i really want... of course it is always up to Him. His way is always the best way, i trust and accept that.

years after this song wouldnt stop ringing in my ears during the 2nd time i took the frcem primary exam, it never gets old... everytime i need to do something impt and desperately need to find some peace and courage, i cue up this song on my beloved spotify playlist. "you and i we can make it through make it through"

i really would like to go to _____ because the pre conf workshops look AMAZING. disaster med. ultrasound. omg shld i learn sth new, or shld i learn something that helps me to become a better dr and reg like that i need RIGHT NOW.hmmmm tough call. okok if i really get to go, i will be VERY GRATEFUL and amazed. coz i nearly almost gave up, then God gave me an idea out of nowheree.

maybe (?). we shall seee

things to do
- pay car bill
- sort out income tax
- log 101 things - ultrasounds, duty hrs, resus pts
- JOURNAL CLUB
- icem ppt
- submit my paper...
- nivresearch
- case report

not to mention study omg thank goodness i passsed my exams liao
but TOXICOLOGY/ ECG/ TRAUMA/ US/ EBM.

ok, at least one thing (sorta kinda) is a load off my mind

plan for tmr
- church
- MEDICAL REPORT
- SHIFT

then next day GYM (like i havent gone at all this month..) and NIGHT SHIFT
then clearly another post night shift
#exhaustedhamster
#forwhatitsworth
#thewordsiwouldsay

if i could talk to myself at many points...
~

If we were face to face,
I'd tell you these simple truths,
Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say

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