Friday, February 15, 2019

the redeemer

the redeemer - sanctus real
And I need the courage to carry on, 'cause I can't see what's ahead And there are places I've wished I could be, battles I've wanted to win But I'm still a dreamer, a believer Oh, I've lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in You 'Cause You can make anything new Sometimes I just wish we could say all the things that are easy to hear Ignore the injustice we see and explain every unanswered prayer But I'd rather speak honestly and wear a tattered heart on my sleeve Oh, I've given up on too many things, but I'm not giving up on You 'Cause You can make anything new I don't have every answer in life But I'm trusting You one day at a time this is where Heaven and Earth collide I lift my hands and give my life This is how my weary heart stays alive Oh, I'm still a dreamer (This is where heaven and earth collide) (I lift my hands and give my life) Still a believer (This is how my weary heart stays alive) Oh, You are the answer (Oh, this is where Heaven and Earth collide) (I lift my voice and give my life) The redeemer (This is how my weary heart stays alive, oh) 'Cause You can make anything new Yeah, You can make anything new
~

this is just the song i needed to hear today
sitting in library trying to do a lit review
and there was a MASSIVE CNY party right next to the library - thankfully it just ended, so peace and quiet now~ wah i tell you. SO DISTRACTING TO THE MAX.
the consoling thing abt this 2 weeks is that im not actually responsible for the eye pts
but i must say i get super antsy and keep wanting to jump up to do the stuff. like WAIT CANNOT DILATE BEFORE CHECKING RAPD hahaha


~

coz im still a dreamer....
oh i lost my faith in so many things but i still believe in u
oh ive given up on so many things, but im not giving up on u...
~

i wish i cld say life was all peaches and cream but, humans are humans
what i have is good enough, if i psyche myself and inner cheerleader very often
yeah alot of anxious thoughts, imposter syndrome thoughts keep flying thru my mind
but just a quick memory of running thru the meadows on a snowy desperate day always reminds me of God's grace and blessings

i guess i wish people including myself were perfecter
if i could count how many times ive given up on myself/others, how many times ive lost my faith in others or myself, i'd be rich by now

i guess we still have expectations of what is right and... not everyone has the same expectations?
thats the only way i can explain it

well, theres nothing i can do about it. the only person i can change is myself and thats difficult enough alr HAHA. no point trying to change others too.

maybe one day God will help me sort my life out
as for now i am sleepy, not motivated, stressed, anxious, have alot of research to do.

*inner cheerleader
i can do it!!

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Through the fire