Sunday, December 2, 2018

shooting star





You by the light
Is the greatest find
In the world full of  wrong
You're the thing that's right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side
You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge
Of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
In the last time
In my only life
And this could be good
It's already better than that
And nothing's worse
Than knowing you're holding back
I could be all
That you needed
If you let me try
You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge
Of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
In the last time
In my only
I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up
And holds me close
Whenever I'm without you
You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
In the last time
In my only life
Life
Life
In my only life

~

fall for you - secondhand serenade 
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting Could it be that we have been this way before? I know you don't think that I am trying I know you're wearing thin down to the core This is not what I intended I always swore to you I'd never fall apart You always thought that I was stronger I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start ~

hahah terrified describes it best
what is IT is another question by itself
i only knew these words and music are beautiful
even the words itself without the music has a lilting quality to it

the secondhand serenade song is beautiful too but it has a quality of a past tense to it. a sense of feelings i might have felt in a past life too far away to remember. i think that in that mythical past life, i might not have fully understood what it meant to love, i think i understand it a little better now. to be very honest with myself, i have never really properly loved someone as per below. but if ever i love again (if my imperfect loves are counted), i will choose a love where i can do this a little better.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 

whereAS the song terrified, apart from perfectly summing up what i feel everyday on the eve of new postings, every new posting, no matter how many pgy +++ i become haha, also seems to sing of new things.

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In the world full of wrong
You're the thing that's right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side

~
at the end of it all (what is IT), i think life is like one big video game. clearing each level, each battle. battles yet to fight, i'll deal with them when they come. for the battles fought and won, for the companionship, thank YOU and YOU and YOU (too numerous to name). thank God for sending various people at various times. 

thank YOU for the continued shared PTSD ramblings (not sure if its a good thing whahahaha) and for keeping me updated on my fav topic of helis. i knew from the start that anyone who loves gatsby is a friend to keep for life hahaha

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