Monday, December 10, 2018


exhaustion post call, nothing new. i shant talk about how my innergeek ocd traits made me sit in front of the monitors all night staring at the strange ecg rhythms flying across the screens. that even the computer gave up reading and started calling it UNKNOWN ECG RHYTHM. you are telling me, computer.

or the whirl of morning activity to screen all the pts do the morning entries and present the entire icu, IT'S HARD, ive repeated that ad nauseum. i have no idea how everyone else does it so effortlessly. well its an open secret that i am not the fastest energizer bunny out there but dudes, it is IMPOSSIBLE unless u have really uninterrupted timing from 6am to 8am to prepare to do all that. if any major thing happens at that time then all bets are off.

anyway, call last night went a smidgen better than my first call. maybe experience helps, maybe my fervent, last minute, desperate prayers were heard last sunday and God helped to smoothen many things. like rather yummy salmon samurai and bubble tea. being on call with friends! lucy (giving me pantry advice on ecg rhythms), km, jane hehe. the best and sweetest ED con to the rescue when i needed something. (even the anes reg when i told her said OH MAN HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART. haha). a nice reg who didnt scold me for calling her nonstop (i really thought abt what can i solve before i call the reg, sometimes, there is really just no choice.). i mean there was plenty of desperations and sweating and so forth but there were some salvageable parts of it and i managed to present my morning entire icu pts in a ???relatively coherent, non garbled (???) manner, or maybe the morning con was just nice.

so anyway now doing a million admin things.
part of me wants to learn languages and paint and watch kdramas
another part of me wants to buy all the books in the novena bookstore and learn all about icu and watch amal mattu ecg videos nonstop (hypomattuism hehe). and practice for exam all weekend with my friends "~i get by with a little help from my friendssss"

so its a bit of a disjunct but anyway something i have learnt from my 29 yrs of existance is that... humanly trying doesn't help very much, it's boats beating against the current but staying still. what usually works is pure DIVINE INTERVENTION

so dear God, please may my patients survive my last upcoming SICU call, may i do the right things, may i hand over accurately the things we ponder about all night. its impossible to have human considerations COMPLETELY out of the picture but at least, just help the pts survive the night. THANK YOU, very much gratitude, my prophylactic prayer.

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