Sunday, October 14, 2018

we took the midnight train going anyywhere

if i told you i was down i was down 
would you pick me up
i have this human love
it shattered once or twice
it pulls me up and down its filled with jagged ice 
i have this human heart
~ lift me up, one republic 

anyway reviewing my sept leave, ok the only major thing i didnt finish was the anes videos (that may have been the most impt on retrospect? oh well haha.) 

1) watch all anes intro videos
2) prepare for journal club
3) gym 2x more hahaha
4) drop in to crossfit sometime this wk
5) go running w my neighbor
6) actually submit the abstract
7) dig up old research that is still not finished
8) get dr p to sign 2 last dops
9) roster request for ed posting next yr
10) sign up for ed exam in london
11) claim $$
12) study for mcem c, join teachings on sat


really have no idea how im gonna survive the next 2.5 months.

some ideas/ resolutions
1) FINISH WATCHING ALL THE VIDEOS
2) get my forms all signed off
3) get 9 more dops for LPs
4) pray very hard everyday i somehow do the right things
5) keep watching the machine check video until it miraculously clicks
6) study some mcem c stuffs. practice with SF one day before mock osce OMG (why did i get myself into this again??)

happy things
- go to church. ?cmg agm (somehow when i saw the email it was a ray of light in a dark tunnel. why is my life so full of dark tunnels. NOT SURE. but its worth it for the rays of light)
- study french - makes me sooo happy. je suis contente! (je suis tres fatiguee...)
- try to gym 1x. ok. must focus on passing baby mo test first. i can always crossfit and bodypump my way to muscles... LATER. only 1 chance to pass this test and this posting and fulfil whatever criteria i need to fulfil

truth be told, these few months have been crazy busy, crazy stressful and you get the idea. HOWEVER. bright lights include my love micu! i really think its just that particular hospital haha but i so so loved that micu there. in fact the other day i was sitting in the ed basement office checking on my premeds for monday and i bumped into once of the micu mos and we were SO THRILLED to see each other. haha. just goes to show what an awesome bonding experience micu was.

ok but anyway i think all things considered i survived the past few months, fine not smelling like roses but quite ok. onwards with the next few months! i'll be happy as long as i pass my posting, get my LPs, hopefully 1 or 2 cvps, and not die of embarrassment during the mcem c mock osce. but i think im gonna die of embarrassment during the mcem c osce. SIGH.

then its back to ED! and then exam! omg 1 yr out of ED, not sure if i can rmb anything tbh. FLOATERS! ODD EYE! yes i can remember that much. well thats partly why im forcing myself to do the mcem c (forcing myself is the best way to describe it hahah). okok much of it is voluntary... voluntarily forcing myself. coz i really wanna a) keep in touch with ed b) pass the mcem before they stop the international mcem thingy c) clear my exams soon so i can spend time going for lovely ed conferences

so will keep my focus on the ENDGAME. YEAH I CAN DO THIS

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