Saturday, July 7, 2018

i'm going all in/ you are my everything

first week of emresidency!

it was appropriately packed and exciting
d1 of life: POSTCALL. rounded for IM. sorted out residual eye pts. went sgh to pick up shiny new laptop - hello friend for the next few years!
d2: rounded for IM in am, cab w zy to emcc and then emcc in pm (hearts). what can i say. it was so awesome walking into the room knowing that out of the huge cohort of ?40+ residents i pretty much know all of them and all of them are my good friends after slogging through tough night shifts together for yrsss. instead of being a brand new shiny ho and being intimidated by a roomful of people you dont know hahah. its so nice to belong somewhere, plus to belong somewhere with this handful of awesome people, is a nice plus i didn't really anticipate before!
D3 - ACLS in am, passed it yay! good refresher ++ . pm - IM roundS
d4: action packed from am to pm omg. can't give more details but essentially from am when i reached hosp then my ho calls me "e you need to come down to ed resus STAT!! they say team mo needs to come now" until pm still calling for hd bed (for diff pts).
d5 ( weekend) - studying for FCCS course + chill (more of chilling). mugging the PF ratio
tmr -  weekend rounddd

~

one of my fav songs seems v appropriate right now. on the edge of something new. i'm excited but also there is a pressure to perform (?). but YKNOW what. i survived FOUR YEARS of uncertainty with plenty of pressures to perform (sometimes i definitely performed better than other times and vice versa hahaha. but i surviveddd all that, eventually.

~
So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath
We're all dying to live but we're all scared to death
I believe that one day I will see Your kingdom come
And I wanna hear You say, "Welcome home my child, well done"
So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath
I'm not turning back around 'cause there's no turning back now
I'm going all in
Headfirst into the deep end
I hear You calling
And this time the fear won't win
All to You, Jesus, I freely give
As long as there's breath in these lungs I will live
With reckless abandon, my heart in Your hands
I surrender it all, I'm going... (I'm going all in)

~

i'm going all in
gonna try my best
some things i'm not very good at (cough intubation cough icu stuffs cough impressing new rotations on my first day)

but i'm gonna overcome all these things one by one!
as one of my heros (in ce hehe) once told us - if you are not good at something or not comfortable w it just recognise it and keep on doing more of it until you become proficient at it! that's how i became good at m&rs (used to avoid those cos i was scared of them... but after multiple m&rs and the amazing dr F who taught me the trick i can do m&rs w haematoma block all alone by myself in p3 area ahahah. but good to have a fellow mo to apply backslab lah. and a strong nurse to apply traction defo helps).

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