to say that i am drifting on a neverendingsea far far away from civilisation let alone far from God, would be an understatement
i really have no words to describe the past few months, and maybe i shouldn't
but here are some concrete things i can do to survive this remaining month in the jungle:
1) never lose my God
- this wed, after 6pm mass theres adoration! aiming to go for that.
2) be nice to the people around me
- i know its very hard to think of others when you are drowning in the sea..very very very hard. but i should still try. yeah, this whole shebang may kill me. but i am determined not to let it affect anyone else. so therefore i should put on a brave face, keep marching on, keep on going even though i am more burnt out than the burnt out smoky ends in a ts eliot poem. yeah. no one cares to understand that i am fighting a battle like david v goliath and apparently im supposed to be continually as chipper as pippa longstocking despite the fact that i feel i need to show up at daniel's lions den daily. BUT i can do it! i can be pippa longstocking oh yea
3) i should study eye
- should aim to be the best eye mo there ever was. yea only three weeks more but i still have a fervent desire to be the best mo in this posting.
.... this is impossible
but we just keep on trying, keep on swimming, beating against the inexorable waves of time
i dont even think about what comes at the end of these next three weeks.
i dont even think about my next one week of break becos it takes so long for me to feel human again even after just one week of WORK let alone after four days of continuous call. i dont think i should write here how many hours i slept total during this four days as i dont actually think it is legal for anyone to sleep that number of hours in 4 days and to be working nonstop during that time. but i think we are expected to suck it up becos we applied for med sch as we knew what we were getting ourselves into. yes i knew what i was getting myself into, but i would like to be treated as slightly better than an amoeba on a daily basis, thank you. just saying. i know it's impossible and i accept my lot. i accept that i knew this when i signed up for medical school and therefore i have no right to complain, i know that too. end.
some of my fav parts of preludes:
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the redeemer - sanctus real And I need the courage to carry on, 'cause I can't see what's ahead And there are places I've w...