Sunday, February 11, 2018

was hoping by now/ i would be closer/ have it all figured out

usual weekends spent studying for exams/ listening to sanctus real/ church later on

random musings - workin out is really super essential to sanity and happiness!! managed to go to pump on fri night and interval training on sat. it was really great. i think its the endorphins that makes me so happy haha. plus KL is SUCH a gem with all his random comments during the pump class that makes us all can't help but giggle halfway thru squats. i also really enjoyed the HIIT interval training with the 18kg deadliftS haha felt so strong and unextinguishable doing those deadlifts for some reason

my view on my current state of noobness: i need to GET OUT of this self pitying I DONT KNOW ANYTHING SAVE ME I AM A SPACE OCCUPYING LESION mentality and BUCKUP.

i need to learn by end of feb
1) BIO - with bio simulator
2) gonioscopy
3) b scan

plus get better with seeing stuff with slit lamp. i can see optic disk... so now more of the retina/ macula stuff

and need to go thru all the ppts thoroughly as well

then early march - will spend it studying for exam
then after exam (and the little post exam holiday and soujourn to st patrick's church!) - then i will go back to mugging eye

then maybe another exam in june???! Godwilling...

to summarize:
I CAN DO THIS. i am SUPERWOMAN. ok not really. but with God by my side, i can do it no matter how completely impossible it looks

sanctus real changed
[Verse 1]
I thought it'd be different
Was hoping by now
I would be closer
Have it all figured out
Been counting the reasons
Been feeling the weight
Of all of my failures
And every mistake

And though I cannot see
I know you promised me
You're making a new heart
Where the old one used to be

[Verse 2]
The pain that I've carried
Is being replaced
There's a brighter future
I see it in my eyes
There used to be darkness
But now there's a fire

'Cause the One who began a good work in me
Is faithful to make me complete
You're the Author, Perfector, my Hope and my Healer
The reason that I believe
I can change, oh I can change

I'm gonna be changed
A little each day
Even when I fall I'll trust You when You say
I'm gonna be changed
By Your grace
You won't let me stay the same as yesterday
I'm gonna be changed
Oh I can change

sanctus real ride it out

Sometimes you feel like you're losing yourself in this life
You're a ship with your sails set high and there's wind in the air tonight
You pray someone saves you
Before the storm takes you

When you feel afraid
Don't you turn around in the sea of doubt
You don't want to drown if the ship goes down
So clear your eyes
Keep your sails high
And ride it out
The waves they will shake you
They may strike fear in your heart
Oh, this trial will shape you
Help you find life in the dark
When you stand on the edge of an ocean
Don't let it swallow your faith
And ride it out through the sea of doubt
Don't let your fear steal your finest hour
Embrace the ride
The wind will take you where you're meant to be
The waves will break when your Creator speaks
And when it's over you will clearly see
That the storm was only there to show you what it takes to believe

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