Saturday, February 24, 2018

He Knows

learning something new is never easY

I somehow (barely) survived one week of acc with a lot of help from my friends, and daily morning liturgy of the hours reading sitting in that small little room before acc opens

I guess anything that brings me closer to God is good

I dont feel prepared for exam at ALL

but I think its not just about the exam? its the general uncertainty of life that gets to me. not to mention the backdrop of daily life where from being a high functioning mo who can m&r and t&s and odd its all by myself suddenly having to beg people to come and review my cases (not sure why I have to beg them when its not like I can send the pt off by myself anw.... but I just have this deep-seated feeling that I am severely inconveniencing the person I am dragging to eyeball my pts). yea. that gets stressful. maybe it will get better, someday, hahah, I don't know. I just am literally depending on God to save me from myself daily. so far it seems to have kinda worked. I realized that if you ask people nicely most times they will help. MOST times. hahah I was asking a nurse for a fellow's number and I sneaked up behind her and asked her in a very sweet voice for it - she literally jumped in the air. me "why'd u jump!" nurse "cos u asked so nicely! usually people don't ask so nicely!" LOL

this posting is teaching me a lot about LIFE

so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, living one day at a time, doing what I have to and hoping and praying that my God is with me every step of the way

and that maybe one day, if He so wills, may He show me the way

I once saw a peek of the way in a taxi post night shift
but since then I think I've fallen off the road so far and so hard and the winds and desert storms and life just came in and I haven't been able to find my way back

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