Sunday, October 30, 2016

nothing is wasted

"I Will Rise Again"

I will rise, I will rise
I will rise, I will rise

It was like somebody knew how to cripple me
with the perfect plan to break my belief
Take me piece by piece till my faith was all but gone

It knocked me down so far that I couldn't get up 
but face down in the dirt I heard the voice of love 
saying do not fear, you won't be here for long

I will rise again, I will rise again
I believe I believe that I had to break
So love could make me whole 
But I will rise again, stronger in the end
I believe I believe in a brand new day
A love that saves so I can say
I will rise again

I'm not who I was, You won't recognize me
Love came down and redefined me
And piece by piece put me back together differently 

And the perfect plan to try to bring me down
Has been put to shame it's been turned around
as I come so alive that death is afraid of me

Cause you've been here before
You've overcome the war
My life is found in yours
And you say I will rise again
You heal and you restore
You break down every door
My life is found in yours
And you say I will rise again
It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom 
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again

I LOVE this chorus.
i believe i believe that i had to break/ so love could make me whole

never fails to cheer me up.

there are so many things in this world that can break us. just when id thought id conquered all my personal battles, then new things crop up. its like playing minecraft in real life and darkness keeps coming within minutes before you can find a shelter to hide. you keep resetting your lives and it keeps on repeating lol. seriously. the more i live this life, the more i am convinced that we CANNOT let them break us.

NEVERTHELESS, as this year/ posting draws to a close, what strikes me is that this year is about God opening windows when all the doors are closed. about light in the middle of darkness. about God making all things beautiful, even when all seems lost. basically best exemplified in all of jason gray's songs haha. that when it's dark all around, there is a way to see in the dark. even when everything doesn't make sense, God will help you somehow, in some way, to glow in the dark. i think that's the most comforting thing about it all. knowing that even at your lowest point, God will come and save you.

i wish i could transmit this absolute faith in God to everyone i love too but, i guess, sadly as im obviously less than perfect in my own life, its a little difficult convincing others unless you yourself are the embodiment of sth. OH WELL. i guess since i honestly never had much expectations for myself, its a little easier for me to give up, coz i have less to give up? i can always say to myself that at least im better than myself ten years ago, and truly believe it. HAHA. love truly did put me back together differently. i dont even think i can count how many times i've been broken over the years.

 at least i can replay jason gray's songs over and over again. absolute playlist of joy and hope.
"i found joy that was hidden for all these yrs
love overflowing to wash over everything
hope runnin over when i let go
here at the end of me"

maybe part two is how to live my life in a way that i can make others believe too. just a thought?

anyway had the CRAZIEST NIGHT with c. i saw 17 pts and he 16. we both left at 9+am. omg. the morning con was really horrified to see me leaving the mo room at 10am (waiting for my ride home hahah). i had the thought somewhere at 3am that it was pretty funny that our 30 waiting patients were all depending on whatever our med sch tutors had taught us years ago, but i guess c has 2+ years of residency in which he learnt a lot of useful stuff too HAHA i want that experience!! i truly think it can make me a much better doctor. oh well, God willing, one day maybe?

two more shifts! i can do this!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment


3 more days of AL! a much needed break cant decide if i shld just sleep. or do research. or study ecg. omg how how or do the mountain o...