Wednesday, September 28, 2016

reasons why you brought me here/ thank You for everything

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley 
Every bitter chill 
Made me ready to climb back up the hill
And find that . . .

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You're my horizon
You're the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

There's a moment when 
Faith caves in 
There's a time when every soul is certain God is gone 

But every shadow is evidence of sun 
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us 

You alone will shine 
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine 

finally did it!!!! a huge weight is off my shoulders now.

each year when this time of year rolls around, i feel a different set of feelings. initially was the gold-rush feeling, then replaced by hopeful belief, then replaced by jadedness and ennui. and every feb/march, came the disbelief, stunned silence, and the making sense of whys.

this time? this time i'm just grateful for the mercies in the last three months. for the ability to apply at all. considering i only had three months to literally scrape through an application. cut it a bit close to be honest, thank goodness that i have a day off today or i would never have made it. for the people who have encouraged me and taught me from literally day one of my posting. for the many epiphanies i had in this short three months. i dont even think i had that many epiphanies in the past three years put together. that's what i felt as i clicked the submit button - gratefulness for God for giving me the chance to even apply, this time.

putting together this app has given me a better idea of what i need to do in the upcoming year - research, exams, etc.

next up: MEDICAL REPORTS. then off to study for part a.

every bitter chill/ made me ready to climb back up the hill 
there's a time where every soul is certain God is gone/ but every shadow is evidence of sun
after the long night, You are sunrise

here's to hoping that one day, i'll see the sunrise
until then, i'll continue living out this dream, knowing that each day is a day my eighteen year old self would have done ANYTHING to live
knowing that each day is one more step preparing me for my ultimate childhood dream
a dream i am already able to achieve, but that each shift, each procedure, each new case only prepares me better for

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