Tuesday, September 6, 2016

nothing is wasted

reading doctors without borders blogs is so incredibly inspiring
this paragraph particularly speaks to me, for obvious reasons.
will that be me too? in 5-6yrs time? will i ever qualify for that seat on that plane? so much longer to go, so much more to learn, until i can be ready for that day.

"The 10 years it took for me to even qualify for a seat on this plane - of hard work, of heartache, of overcoming obstacle after obstacle for me to live this dream – pales in comparison to the suffering of this country, magnified over decades. Now that I am finally here after so long, perspective assuages the memory of personal trials and tribulations. I am already suffering the aftershocks of my humanity and empathy being confronted by everything I see here. 

I think of my extremely worried  parents back home watching me disappear into this world they will never understand, helplessly turning their crying faces away as we said goodbye, my mother clutching at my father’s bowed back for support. Their only daughter, given all the opportunities to achieve Asian values of success and prosperity, raised with all the conventions of conformism to Asian decorum, now flying away into a country in the middle of civil war. 

As grateful as I am for the opportunity to be humbled and challenged by working with MSF, for the opportunity to follow my heart and know it will be broken completely, to choose to grow... this has been the most selfish thing I have ever done. I swallow the seeds of consternation, trepidation and guilt with every step, feeling more alone and lost than I have ever felt in my life."


on a random note, the other day one of the seniors in the dept who has gone on multiple drs without borders missions taught me how to use the abg machine! omg i tell you. SUCH A FANGIRL MOMENT. hahah

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