Wednesday, September 7, 2016

if its not ok, its not the end

hahaha i remember the edin days where literally that phrase was all that kept me going

i think work has really changed me a lot, hopefully for the better
i never was famous for being responsible or organized as a kid. but somehow after starting this ho/mo thing, i became the kind of person who would walk back to check on a pt if i remembered i forgot to do something, if not i wouldnt be able to sleep that night.

i rmb once as hos, dot and i walked all the way to the mrt station when we walked back coz the nurse called us abt our team's patient. LOL

im still trying to discern what is the best thing to do.

but this i know, these two months, God has been really very kind to me.

from passing acls post night shift to going to such a happy place where everyone was so kind as to teach me the ropes, to potentially working there next time, to showing me that the whole peds diversion was not wasted, but rather an asset (for the record, i loved peds, and i loved ce. just want to put it out there. even if its three yrs of my life spent, and much heartbreak, i dont regret it even if i dont gain anything from it).

everyone's reaction to my prev postings is so funny
invariably it goes like this
them: so what postings did u do before this?
me: abt one yr of peds and ce?
them: omg!
me: yup
them: why did you do that!

to having dr j give me a project on d3 of the posting!

continuing on God's mercies include my first resus shift having my sk boss in resus, and half the sknurses. and by the end of that shift i had made friends w the other nurses too. 2nd shift was fever, i walked in and the nurse says "dr e, thanks for the other day". me "the other day??" nurse "resus shift! that was fun wasnt it?" :):) 3rd shift procedure mo, nailed my first m&r, backslabed and t&sed many pple, at the end of it the con asks me "what posting did you come from? ortho" hahahah

4th shift night - with friendly and nice cons and the sk buddy js, and nurses who helped me take blood, not once but many times!! literally jaw drop.
nurse: dr u type the notes. i will help u set plug and take blood, how many tubes do u want?
wahhh literally jaw dropped.
it was so fun doing it with js as well. he was like "eh im going to do t&s now. leave u alone here u can ah. ... oh cannot get iv plug is it" *helps me set plug in less in 2 mins for the pt, breaks the iv frusemide and injects it into the pt*
not to mention we had such a kind night shift, even the con remarked that it was a really good night (comparatively speaking)

looking back at the past two months, its becoming abundantly clear that when we come to the end of ourselves, and cant go any further, God will come and help us.

i dont deny that i would like to get into residency faster hahaha im feeling abit old nowadays. and my friends are gonna all become reg alr.

but i dont think greediness to get into residency stat is a good idea. not if thats the only reason to get in stat. i mean i want to do this with my life, there is no qn abt it.

i remember when my mum said "as time goes by, its becoming more and more clear [that this is what God is leading me towards]" and not for the first time, i felt the truth of that resonating with me.

there are many reasons, of which i wont really go thru now, but i feel that compared to what i wanted the past three years, that maybe when we let go of our own selfish desires and laundry lists of prayers, that God's soft prompting can be better heard. not my will, but Yours be done :)

not to mention... drs without borders!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment

garage gym

random snippets of musings 1. i usually love poetry but the apocalyptic poetry felt... depressing for some reason. maybe the thing about th...