Monday, August 22, 2016

don't forget

i think i should change this blog name to #dayoffchronicles, or #prenightshift, or #postnightshift, since half of my life seems to revolve around that hahah

things to do
1) claim weekend shifts/ taxi fares
2) study for mcem
3) study for emed
4) do some form of physical exercise today
5) korean trial class on fri!
6) apply for TL. go for us courses (looking forward to it! :):))

1) buy more korean books
2) buy murakami books
3) fly to korea and learn korean
4) MISSION TRIPS!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry for the emphasis. this is a longstanding dream that has yet to come to fulfilment. although if i were to go on one now/ in the next few yrs, i would be MUCH more helpful than as a wideeyed inmature secondary sch student, which is when i initially first wanted to go. like when js was saying "no what, you can do t&s, i&d, gp work, quite useful what!" i tell you never felt happier at that moment. although he was talking abt drs without borders as mo level. haha. same happiness. KEEP ON GOING, KEEP SWIMMING, WE CAN DO THIS!!)
5) sign up for runs. just waiting for the route maps. currently i want to do great eastern and kiv scms? but i think scms a bit hard since mcem is THREE DAYS AFTER. maybe i shld start with 10k since it takes uhh 45mins to run a 5+km route nowadays. i used to run 8k in 45mins in jc!! sobs
6) baking. well would be nice but i think it takes too much effort. and i dont feel like there is anyone to give my rainbow infused products to. (sorry world, teenage angst yo)

i think what really gets to me, is that here i am, trying to look for the light at the end of the neverending tunnels. surrounded by darkness, trying to glow in the dark, usually unsuccessfully. trying to find all the starfish and jellyfish in my life to help me. and just when the darkness seems like it's going to close in forever, you come in and turn off all the sources of light. and not even metaphorically, you leave me stranded in the darkness. but i'm not afraid. ive saved many starfish in this lifetime, and i intend to save many more. i've fallen into pitch darkness many times over & dolphins have come to save me. 

i don't have to agree, but i can save myself from this darkness. i will. i will pick myself up from the depths of the center of the earth. i will glow in the dark and i will never, ever, agree to ANYTHING that prioritises dark over light. 

in this life that we have, light will win over dark. 
& i will do EVERYTHING in my power to ensure, that light wins. 
when i come to the end of myself, and i can't do that, when all the doors have closed and there is not even a single ray of hope left, then i know, that God will send a starfish to save me. He will open a window for me. He will teach me how to breathe underwater. He will pass me a scuba mask and oxygen supply. He will show me how to reach the surface. 
because i believe in this, that's why i can survive each day. 

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