2nd June: Fatalism or Faith
Come, now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town, and spend a year there...; whereas you do not know about tomorrow... Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that'. James 4:13-15
We make our plans -- and so we ought -- but always with the proviso 'if the Lord wills'.
Forty-five years ago I was in another situation which might have spelt the end. I was facing an angry horde of armed savages in Central Africa advancing on me and my two African companions. I was scared. Then I remembered the promise, 'Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night, nor for the arrow that flieth by day' (Ps 91:5). God was there.
This note of confidence, of utter trust in God sounds strongly throughout scripture. Whatever the appearances, God is in charge. However black the night, however delayed and uncertain the dawn, God is still in charge; he always has been, 'out of them all the Lord delivered me' (2 Tim 3:11 AV); he is now, 'He delivered us...and he will yet deliver us' (2 Cor 1:10 AV); he always will be, 'Though I pass through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me' (Ps 23:4).
Nothing -- no, nothing -- can separate us from the love of God. Rest in that assurance. 'Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for evermore' (Scottish Catechism).
God's will for us is to be enjoyed, not endured.
the first thing that popped into my head when seeing the results on yet another millionth cab ride home was "!! God has a plan after all!"
the second thing was "crap i just paid 200bucks to renew my pastest subscription"
isn't it funny how things turn out?
anyway, i'm pretty sure i will be VERY NOOB coz i am basically a baby mo when it comes to adults. preterm even. on the bright side, i think, at least i sincerely hope that my blood taking skills have improved after all these years. but guess what, i survived thoroughly sucking for one year, i'm sure i can survive learning a new set of skills!
veryyy excited & nervous. essentially it feels like the first day of school. LOL
something that bode well at least - that i remember that random monday when i went for mass & came back & suddenly decided to make the switch - (because it becomes a little ridic when it's you begging God to please just let you try one more time? one more? for? your pride? the fireworks you thought were but were clearly as ill-advised as the friendships which burst with bubbles in the cold winter air) and then backtracked to put off the switch for one more year. or 1.5 yrs more rather. guess God doesn't want me to put it off for one more year huh, as evidenced very clearly.... & that the very first thought that popped into my mind (well after HAHAHAHA), was "wow, God has a plan after all" :)
so as always, i'm going to try and do my best. it's going to be difficult to transit to talking to people who are not 3yo and who you cannot instantly make friends with by proffering sweets, but i guess at least they won't burst into tears upon seeing your face? haha. i'm always up for a new challenge, bring it on!! :)