Wednesday, June 8, 2016

even though i loved you

101 things to do and decisions to make. previously i was debating with myself 2b or not 2b - and eventually decided  on buying the sogang 2b textbook hahaha that was an easy decision on hindsight

now the decision is: 2a or not 2a?

on one hand, this is an exam i had planned to take for a long, long time. to be specific i was sitting in on the pre exam tutorials since like last december -_-
on another hand what's the point of taking the exam if i'm not going to do this speciality for the rest of my life..? it could be argued that knowledge is good but yknow if i need any more knowledge it would probably be of adult med of which i currently remember NOTHING from med school haha.

it just strikes me that i've spent what seems like a long time on this road that i set out on because of my own pride & dreams. that even though God kept gently nudging me in a different direction, i kept on stolidly refusing to heed all signs, even if an ostrich came to trumpet at me that i was going the wrong way, i wouldnt have allowed myself to be any the wiser.

7th June: Not my Own
You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Bleep, bleep! There it goes again! I'm wanted somewhere in the hospital. If only they would leave me alone to finish what I am doing! There's not a minute's peace!

It reminds me of our life as Christians; we have no rights, we have been bought with a price, we are not our own. We have deliberately chosen, and must continue to choose moment by moment to belong to God. We are 'on call' for Jesus.

My bleep is long range; God can call me wherever I am. It works one way; it is for me to listen to it and answer the call. It can call me at any time; I must always be ready to hear it. Every day it needs recharging as does my life in God. I must spend time seeking his resources as I read the Bible carefully and prayerfully, and as I bring myself to him to be moulded into his pattern, and as I pray for the needs of others whom I shall meet today.

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God (Rom 8:14).

The entrance fee to the kingdom of God is nothing,
the annual subscription is everything.

Henry Drummond.

Now read the story of a man who heard God's call wherever he was, whatever he was doing, whenever it came, and did at once whatever he was asked to do. Acts 8:5-12, 26-40. 
i dont know if i will end up taking this exam, or not. or if taking it even helps me with anything one bit -_-

but this i know - that God's will is slowly being revealed to me, that finally after years of succumbing to my own dreams & pride, that i am finally taking the right road. no-one says this will be an easy road, but at least it's the right one

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