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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

whatever you do

2nd December: A Guiding Principle

Whatever you do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Col 3:17
In this verse the apostle Paul gives us a guiding principle for life. All that we say or do should be said or done `in the name of the Lord Jesus'. Taking the patient's history, carrying out a physical examination, giving advice, prescribing and/or carrying out the treatment needed -- this should all be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, remembering that he indeed is our Lord. It follows that if there is anything which we really cannot do in his Name, we should not be doing it. Adherence to this simple yet all-inclusive principle will mean that we shall always have the highest interests of our patients at heart, just as our Lord Jesus has. We shall treat them as people for whom Christ died, not just as `patients'. We shall do our best for them, just as if the Lord Jesus were in the room supervising us -- which indeed he is, for he has promised to be with us all the days, to the very end of the age.
Lord Jesus, I ask today that all I say and do may be in your name. You are my Saviour, my Lord and my God. I acknowledge that all my abilities have come as gifts from your bountiful hands. Grant that today I might use them all in your Name, for your glory and so for the blessing of all with whom you bring me into contact. May I show something of your compassion, humbleness, kindness, gentleness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness and love to everyone I meet today, for your Name's sake.
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it's been a good three days of leave. the first day i gymmed, the second day i literally bummed at home watching tv + played my instrument for the first time in YEARS, and the third day i spent tidying up my research + attending a really inspiring teaching session. feels productive. 

i've got 4.5 calls left + many many cases left in my various research projects, & then off i go for my second try at ce. i was really SO noob when i started. remembering when mich feli and me first wandered blurly into ce on our very first day of being baby mos hahaha almost like first day of being a ho but nearly more terrifying than that. really so grateful to them for our babymo whatsapp support group!! dont think i'll have that next posting since its all the guys and me next posting. lol. but hopefully i'll be better and wouldnt need it either!! 

speaking of being noob, three months into this posting and it is definitely getting much better. it was really a new experience to have hos to supervise and to have to check their work and to know like ALL the pts in the ward and on call to keep track of all the pts. i am grateful for my traumatising first month which at least taught me what i know should be the gold standard of knowing all the pts & the right thing to do. i've had a lot of exciting/scary experiences like my first managing status epilepticus, code blues, having to run down to ce resus, sedations, watching countless bmas, amongst others. it was really nice having some time to do my research as well. 

ANYWAY in summary, even though its all very there but for the grace of God go i, i guess at least i survived these three months. and hopefully i will survive the last month too. and hopefully my research all goes well. hopefully all goes well. i've been lucky in that i only do mo1 and mo3 calls which arent that bad. mo 2 and mo 4 calls are really really scary but since i havent done onco or hd ever (plus i am still very the baby mo), i dont have to do those. 

so even though some days it looks so hazy & i keep on driving down a road where i can't see where i'm going which can get pretty scary, i guess as long as i love what i do each day (school refusal notwithstanding) & i'm doing it for God, it should work out somehow someday. 
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and maybe someday i'll find the words to describe how is it possible that two fleeting encounters years apart can however briefly make me see a glimpse of poetry in the wastelands. i guess if nothing it's good to know that i can believe again however briefly. first muffins then chocolate and then now embellishments on a cake, i think i should swear off sweet things for a looong time and maybe ask a genie for a personal trainer boyfriend instead, or a mma fighter? i think the lesson learnt is that not all that glitters is gold and not all that is sugary is sweet. 
but thank you for helping me to believe again, however briefly. i always do appreciate it, learning how to feel again. 

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