some snippets from my past self, on What I Want to Be When I Grow Up:
"now...... i don't know. cute is cute but i need to get there. and if by the time i reach the finish line, what if i'm totally pooped and i cant do the amazing things that i always planned to do, when i got there?"
"our life decisions need to be made this week.
i didnt make it to church this weekend so since i need to consult the consultant up there, i cant decide right now yet"
this may be a semi-answer but i am already in the midst of planning aforementioned 'amazing things'. i dont need to wait to reach the finish line before i start doing amazing things with this life yeah :)
i guess we are all equipped to do some things & altho its good to go out of our comfort zones, there are many things to consider. like i read drs without borders blogs with such a longing heart but i really dont think i am at all equipped to fly to the middle of a warzone tmr to do trauma surgery or neurosurgery on anyone, on many counts. not least because... WAR, but also because i am not trained as a surgeon, not even as a surg mopex mo. and quite a few traumatic medical sch postings have made me quite certain that im not meant to do surgery. for the record, after o&g, I CAN DO HANDTIES. and i have t&s-ed quite a few people ;p most exciting doing scalp t&s yo. and eyelid t&s on a 2yo boy. (bravery ++. both us and the boy)
BUT there are still some things that i can do, and i plan to do what i can :)
some things are really definitely too latte, no question about that, but some things aren't. i guess, you win some, you lose some..?
(i guess if that cup of coffee was really meant to be, the timings would have matched up by now. maybe the fact that the timing was well & truly off meant that it was truly not meant to be after all. not that it was wrong, cos i always suscribe to the belief that people walk in & out of our lives for a reason. like my fav analogy of ships passing in the night. x wasnt just a ship passing in the night as i used to think, it was more like a fighterjet bombing a yellow submarine & being reminded of it eternally whenever the song played on the radio. for ____, i really think it was like a lighthouse that a ship passes in the night. the ship needs the lighthouse so that it doesnt crash into the rocks & cos to see the light at the end of the seemingly endless dark night is really such a relief, but the ship can't land either, because... ROCKS. so the cafe-hopping, looking for the perfect cup of coffee continues...)