last crazy chance
in a way it's freeing to finally know (yes, i clearly dont listen if people tell me no twice). whether God reallY wants me to do this or not. and maybe its a bit of an expensive way to know too, not just coz exams are expensive but cause i really enjoyed it. i do like playing with kids, i think there is no qn about it. liking kids is both a very small part and very big part of it. i guess if you hated kids you probably couldnt do this job coz then such a big chunk of potential job satisfaction is removed from the equation. but it also matters very little if you like kids but arent the best doctor. then that removes the whole equation from the equation, something like the expensive calculator you bought for your maths paper having no battery. just sayin'
but anyway in life you cant really think about all this or you wouldnt be able to function at all. i think half the time we have to do things that we arent ready for anyway so we just gotta step up and do it. i think the past four months taught me that i CAN step up and do it. although in my case honestly it's more of trudging thru shift after shift until finally i got the hang of things. and also the really nice reg who told me that i have to present like i know what im doing, which i do (or so he said. HAHA. after that i became convinced that i do know what i'm doing. the power of positive suggestion haha). another funny incident was when the plastics dr refused to pick up after hrs so i just did the t&s myself. doing procedures successfully gives SUCH a +xp boost you wouldn't believe.
in summary, its been a really awesome & life-changing experience (plus i realized i kinda like shift work!). i think it's given me quite good exposure as well, although not really lots of rare stuff but i did like checking to see how the kids progressed after adm and what people ordered for them in the wards. and the nurses. what can i say. they saved me SO MANY times and they were always so nice about it. best nurses EVER, hands down.
something i've had ample time to think about is that i really just want to be a good doctor, it doesnt matter what kind of doctor i am otherwise. whereever i can do a good job with whatever skillz i happen to have, is good. or whatever skills i manage to accquire, like plug setting. haha.
& i want to thank God for bringing me through this posting. although i do still need to do an m&r. and i&d. and ARGHH only a few more shifts!!! so praying really hard those procedures come my way really soon since i need to pass this posting regardless of the plans for the rest of my life