Friday, July 10, 2015

the time i loved you

d1 of leave! spent... sleeping. omg. 

other than my chronic sleep-wake dysfunction for this posting, there are so many things afoot & up in the air that a juggler on crack and espresso would be hard-pressed to keep track of in an efficient, gravity-defying manner. oh well. just another day in the life

just survivin'. i love the pictures of nemo in the consult rooms. JUST KEEP ON SWIMMING. the other day around 4am i went to consult the con something about a six month old baby and the con said "i agree with you", was so shocked i nearly jumped out of my skin !! seriously. 

anyway despite the great divide btw practical and mugging and the great expense of an exam i dont even know if i am going to specialise in the relevant specialty for, and the fact that the facts may or may not surface when actually needed, and NOT ENOUGH TIME overall, i'm making a very small dent in starting to mug. yay?

it occured to me the other day that i usually perform better in high-stress situations where i sort of pre-amp up my game in anticipation of a difficult time, as opposed to situations where i naively and happily look forward to things or assume it's going to be a piece of cake. the only times it really is a piece of cake is when i am literally having cake for brunch or something. haha. so in a wayy having 101 things to do is sort of exciting and a challenge to conquer (looking on the bright side)

looking on the dark side, i'm going to be insanely busy and stressed and sleep deprived for the next few months omg. but then anyway the sleep-wake cycles are aaaall a bit off ANYWAY. i had a really nice day of slacking the other day due to stacking of shifts such that i was actually awake in daylight hours and sufficiently energised to gym for the first time in nearly TWO MONTHS. but then i got flu from an unknown source (but very likely from some kid less than two yrs old, chances are...) and haven't gymmed since. sigh. 

i dont have access to crack, but ESPRESSOS yes. or some form of caffeine anyway. ok whatever it is or may be, i really enjoy studying this stuff. i really love it. dreams vs reality, i'll run to the end of this race and then i'll take it from there. all the detours, getting eaten by bears in the forest, all the sea-swims, i know i can make it :) 

also, packing up my life in boxes AGAIN. its been like five years since i last did that. although i have significantly more stuff to pack now. lemme think all i reaaally need is scrubs, stethoscope, android phone and credit card and pastest book. i think i can survive with just that leh 

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