some people have butterflies in their stomach when thinking about big life events like this. me, i have a stash of butterflies in my ho bag and i know which ward the secret stash of butterflies is
i wont deny that initially when thinking about 6th april i thought that its the third time and everything and hey God always pulls out miracles for me like rabbits out of a magician's hat! and He does and indeed i am grateful for it. but sometimes things dont come exactly at the times we suspect/ hope they might. the first time i was really very very upset. because i really had truly believed with the last vestiges of my childlike innocence, had truly fixed my heart on the notion that yes, it's impossible, but somehow i always got the impossible things. that the fact that it was impossible means i would get it. the second time wasn't too nice either, the way i found out at like 6am in the morning in a darkened room as we all sat in radio meeting wasnt exactly shining with lights at the end of the tunnel. this time wasn't really the third time - yet haha. it was literally an encouragement to keep on going
and this easter was everything i had hoped for. a post call easter sunday, an encouraging sermon like a hundred-plus drink and banana to help one on the neverending half-marathon of life. that despite still having to keep on going at least one is at peace and loves what one is doing currently.
debate is to me a shining example of God showing his overflowing grace. everytime i meet josh or sean it reminds me very acutely of the times i spent with nic/ diane/ the rest, huddling outside classrooms waiting for what seemed like the verdicts of our lives. i really spent so much of my teenage life predicated on someone else's judgements; literally what others thought of us. and the funny thing is now that we are all grown up then people keep jio-ing us for comedy debates, usually when we are post call. or sometimes pre-call.
so yes, sometimes we dont get things exactly when we want it. but eventually his grace will come and it will be overflowing. i used to think my debating skills peaked in sec 4/ jc but actually i think with His Grace, the past 2 were actually the best. i dont think i could have ever imagined i was capable of such a feat. not just that i can't make lame puns (that's my daily hobby haha), or that i can't speak to large crowds (public speaking is my sole skill in life. if only i was nearly as good at blood taking.), it's just that the audience of first literally most of my med school cohort and then subsequently as j said "this is like the seat of power" is actually really intimidating (now i think about it.)
so when all's said and done, i am really grateful for the blessings this year and the opportunity to do so much fun stuff, and i was honoured to have the random encouragement on the middle of a long marathon. heh. can't wait to go to ce (my childhood dream!!) ok maybe my dream when i was like 22+. i still felt like quite young then. hahah. the other day i was taking bld from this aunty and she was like "you are so young!! how old are you? 20? 21?". for the record i always got all her blood first time round ah ;p
now i need to survive night float. urgh.