Tuesday, September 16, 2014

doctor's life support

found this amaaazing site: http://www.cmf.org.uk/doctors/devotion.asp?id=devotion&day=24&month=10

extremely apt words for that day heh. and the idea of dr's life support is quite amusing

God made us alive together with Christ and raised us up with him in the heavenly places that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards us. Ephesians 2:5-7

As Christians, we are the recipients of God's tremendous blessing. When we were dead in our sin, Paul told the church at Ephesus, God made us alive, raised us up and placed us with him in a heavenly position. Why? Why should God be so generous with us? God has done this, Ephesians 2 tells us, `in order that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace toward us'. God is blessing us now so he can bless us more later: God is in the business of blessing. He wants to bless us.

God has arranged the universe to make his blessing available to us. Having saved us, he has `given us everything we need for life and godliness'. He has also prepared for us good works to be done, for it is in doing good that we experience his blessing. Finally, he has set before us, as Moses explained to Israel, life and prosperity. The abundance of God's kindness is available and is accessible to us.

How, then, shall we make God's blessing ours? Moses and Joshua were each instructed to live according to God's word. It is in obedience to God that we reap his blessing. Yet it is not in our own strength that we obey, for having been crucified with Christ, it is now Christ who lives in us. Obedient to his word, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Interestingly, however, God's blessings often come to us in disguise. Even the `trials of many kind' and the `painful trial' or `fiery ordeal' referred to by New Testament writers will lead to deepened faith and a revelation of God's glory. God's blessing will far surpass the difficulties of the present age. Amid the sleep deprivation, pressured circumstances and stressful situations incumbent upon those in the medical profession, God offers a remedy. To the weary, he offers a light yoke. To the workers, he offers the promise of a harvest. We need not succumb to `burnout'. We can take on his yoke and look beyond burnout to blessing.

It is overwhelming to meditate on the vastness of God's kindness to us. He is blessing us now so he can bless us more in the future. Accepting his provision, even through difficult times, we can obediently choose to live his life with his prosperity.

Thank you, Lord, for the graciousness of these words of
assurance: `I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord,
`plans for welfare and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope' (Je 29:11).

and no i dont think this is the same as the prosperity gospel haha. its more of somethin' to get you through those endless nights. for the record, i have nothing against being up all night. some of my best calls didnt involve me even stepping into the call room. i like those nights in which i can slowly and calmly settle all my patients (without angry/ stressed out calls 'doctor patient family angry, family wants update now (at 2am??) doctor are you coming doctor do you remember two hours ago i called you doctor i think my colleague from the other shift called you') haha i think my classmate described it quite well on his fb LOL. 

it's not about not being able to sleep per se its the feeling of horror as the phone rings, of trying to put down the phone quickly so you can pick up the incoming call since you dont know what that call brings - desat? low bp? new case? of ending up being really snappish 'hypocount high? is patient on sliding scale?' 'er let me check' 'ok forget it ill just order actrapid bye' 'ok nvm forget it ill come bye' . i just dont like that feeling of fear & not knowing what's going to happen in the next five minutes - will A&E bomb us with cases?? will my patient desat without me knowing it?? will the fbc i just ordered have a super low hb necessitating to call bts mo, but i didnt check and before i knew it the mo checked and called and i feel so lousy that i didnt pick it up faster. (all true stories). 

but i dont think calls are meant to be slow and calm affairs where we get all our patients' ducks in a row. although some of mine luckily have been, thank God. for those that arent & for the fears that i dont even have time to have (like who has the mental energy to worry about where i will be working as an mo next yr this time and in what capacity when i dont even know how this night is going to end), for all that.... this really is the best medicine:

28th October 2014: Love is Never out of Date

So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:13

on that day, may i not be agitating to rush through the narrow door of human achievement, for my own glory. may i somehow have found, by then, the way to love my patients/ the nurses who keep calling at night/ the families who keep wanting to be updated (btw i totally understand that they want & need an update, but its logistically impossible. i once stayed til 930pm updating every single family and multiple people in each family...the next morning i came and there was *** in the case sheets saying dr please update the third son of the family he wants update. didn't know whether to cry or laugh.). five years ago i came to this realization that no matter how narrow are these man-made doors, it doesnt matter if you dont squeeze through the last and final door. and five yrs on, i still am here again, looking for God to open a window, but still acutely aware of this:

Help us Lord, to be mindful of your words: 
`Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, 
and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, 
and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is
narrow, and the way is hard that leads to life, 
and those who find it are few' (Mt 7:13-14)!

& whichever way it goes, i'll know that between faith, hope & love, the greatest of those is love

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