Sunday, August 10, 2014

sunshine/ give love

today was the most beautiful day in my entire memory.

well, i've had some really awesome & amazing miraculous days before too. but today practically ranks up there with the best of them.

i never want to forget this day.

i know that i tell myself often that in order to moderate expectations, i should not predicate my entire happiness on being accepted into a sub-specialty (assuming i even get accepted into the specialty)

but you know, this has been an amazing journey from the day of Epiphany (literally speaking) when I asked God should I go ahead with this or not and he said - YES. Until this day, beautifully bookended by two of the most inspiring talks i have ever heard in my entire life, selfies with the team, being their unofficial photographer & getting career advice from one of the drs i most respect and admire (and was a little scared of as a student mainly due to his general awesomeness). i can't describe this feeling bubbling over like a champagne fountain

i trust that with God's grace and my newfound determination to do everything i can to get there, one day, i will. every doubter and every encourager will just spur me on

sometimes it's true that when you don't get something, God is closing a door. but maybe, sometimes, he just takes a little longer to answer your prayer; not on the time frame you had humanly expected

i know there is so much i don't know. once as a student, my friend was so amused when i told her 'i love knowledge' i guess i dont exactly come across as very knowledge-loving hahahah. but i dont think anyone could have sat in today's sessions and not been wide-eyed at the spectrum of research already done and yet to come... i dont think anyone can round with these amazing people and not be like a sponge soaking up all the teaching. i know all my mos and hos were scribbling down dr T's teaching during ward rounds when i was a student. but y'know, im determined to go to these things until i at least know what i don't know. knowledge isn't something locked up somewhere, it's easily obtained once you know where to look

when you find what you love, it isn't work or drudgery anymore

it's just pure love

no amount of doubters or insecurity or human limitation can stop me

... now back to boring im and my inability to take adult bloods. sigh haha

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