thank you for finally helping me find my easter joy, and especially on the first day of starting work, after a long day that started with feeling so blur the m4 medical student actually helped me and jh print our lists and see one entire cubicle (LOL), of very looong talks, of endless "one more hint"s from the guy teaching us how to use the computer (the tips are really appreciated tho!!), and ended with taking super long just to do one discharge summary cos jh and i kept chatting in the mo room hahaha. also so lucky that the first dr i saw when entering the ward was dr riza who was one of the mos during my SIP! or we could never have figured out the pw to the mo room. haha.
after the very long and dark tea-time of the soul, finally, a glimmer of light, and on such a day as the first day of work in my life. it was really really nice :)
it just feels like once i finally turned everything over to God, all my desires and wants, and decided that whatever He wants me to do, I would do, whether i originally liked that area or not, the way starts to smoothen out before me. it kinda feels like a test, which well... i never really pass these tests with flying colors. the last time, i kinda just gave up in a stairwell and waited for God to send someone to save me. but yknow, in this world, the only one we can ever, ever count on to save us, is God. and He always will :)
He can open doors I am not strong enough to open and close doors I am not strong enough to close. He can turn rejections into acceptance; He can move mountains.
the future is still far ahead, and i have a long way more to go (my first call, my first actual round where we dont go off halfway for orientation, my first blood taking from a kid...). i have so much more to learn.
but if God is for us, who can be against us?
now just to survive sunday rounds. haha. I AM SO SLOW only saw 5 patients this morning!! we have 16 each on sun. good luck to us.