i've survived one week of working life! it's true when they say, nothing prepares you for it. NOTHING
well, when i say "survived" i mean
a) i'm still alive
b) my patients are all still alive
c) i havent made any major errors (actually to be exact i havent made any errors at all! just super slow. haha)
actual quote from ward sister "there are three new cases, who's going to see?? chidren!!!" *children referring to us the hos not the patients*
i think i more than slightly underestimated the case load having only worked in a private ward during SIP, nothing could have prepared me for the daily craziness and withdrawal symptoms when the TWO OLD HOS BOTH WENT ON LEAVE AT THE SAME TIME. we kinda knew they were doing more than half the heavy lifting and we knew we were going to get fried when they left but... it was still painful anyways. haha.
NEVERTHELESS, i can confidently say that i have helped countless small kids over the past week. yay for meaning in life. the reason i know there are so many kids i have helped is i have also been staying back to do their discharge summaries until 9-9.30pm everyday.
a few mixed feelings:
- relief at having survived a week, particularly the last few days, even though we were glacially slow and mos, reges etc keep giving us pep talks, at least we managed to finish everything and nothing got left out
- gratitude at actually being a doctor and knowing how to do this doctor thing (kinda)
- wondering how i could possibly be more efficient next week and not being very sure how to. awkward moments when you get scolded for things sometimes not your fault and just accepting that you need to bite ur lip and apologise for things, and sometimes that you ARE lacking and there is no use making excuses just apologise anyway.
- happiness & inspiration every time i see the neuroteam
- joy at having my abstract accepted for the upcoming conference.
- feeling really grateful to the covering hos, mos, nurses and pharmacists who regularly save me/us & who never scold us for being lacking but keep telling us that its ok cos we're new, even tho we finish so late everyday they hardly have time to go for subspec rounds. and esp the mos who keep pulling us aside to tell us it's ok (HAHA the fact that they do it means it's not ok, but oh well. like they said, at least we dont make any medical errors, the only thing is everyone goes home super late everyday and are constantly hopping up and down on tenterhooks and rushing us. yep)
ANYWAY. half call tmr and first real call next sun. (why do i have so many sunday calls). off to do all those interminable online modules and try to shore up my knowledge. if anyone has iv efficiency, please pass me some.