Sunday, February 23, 2014


before mass, i was really rather... distracted HAHA, for many reasons.  i realised that ive been slooowly, very slowly slipping away, 1% at a time. it's not a big slip away or anything, just going down the rabbit-hole of wakeup mug, go to sch to practice long cases or practice virtually with friends, go to sleep, occasionally run or gym to prevent my OWN muscles from atrophying haha. just do that day in day out until the reason for it falls by the wayside

it's not a bad thing to be fully absorbed in work, thats why there is study break (since for med all we ever see is like... SYNCOPE and falls and for peds its usu urti/ ge/ bronchiolitis haha. i mean there are the cool cases that pop into our wards and also there's the crazy hunting for cases that got so intense by the end it was actually hilariously fun. like the last sunday where every corner in kk/sgh that i turned round, i was bound to see a whole gaggle of classmates heh. but we all know the vast majority of cases in gen wards are like that). 

just that every now & then we need to be reminded of the Reason behind everything. today, i was. really felt v encouraged & inspired during mass :) i'm really looking forward to the cmg ho welcome mass + tea. must. get. to. that. day. where i can pledge to do medicine for God's work, & know that truly this is his will. cant think of anything better than that. (of course, then i must go and frantically read up before the first actual day of work. then again, all the frantic reading i'm doing NOW will hopefully stick around too. my approach to mbbs is: APPROACHES & EMERGENCIES) 

on a tangential note, ive really been there, done that countless times. i literally cannot count the number of times ive been in this situation before; cant even remember what i said & when; what jokes or anecdotes i told, but chances are: many. the befores & afters. but this is different. i know that this is a whole different thing altogether. recurring theme: God using the same strands & giving me a do-over, one at a time. this time, if i'm not altogether mistaken, i promise to do a good job. a really good job. 

because this is literally a gift from God, yes true, one of many (i really shld stop whining abt my life because honestly i'm blessed beyond belief. although maybe the tradeoff for impt blessings is... doing silly small things on a regular basis?! hahaha well cant have everything ;p) but indeed a gift. its something that i will treasure & treat very well because firstly it comes from God & secondly it's so so hard-earned, but no, more importantly, because of the deep sincerity within it, and of course, our mutual love of coffee

thank you God :) for always giving me a compass for me to find my way back to You

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