About Me

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

3.14159



Just like a mediocre drama that you know what lines are coming
I know what you’re going to say to me today
It’s a predictable and typical story

The talks we had all night, your affectionate eyes
Even your clumsy confession, they all hide like a shy diary entry
In our own land of the midnight sun, all of the anxious futures with you
Goodbye, really really good goodbye

At one point, I thought it would be hard to even breathe without you
Back then, I thought you were like a god who made me exist
It’s a little sad but an embarrassing story

Even if I hold onto you and turn your heart around
After that, after that, this will just repeat, oh yeah

Have I gotten tired of endlessly biting my lips and enduring?
Or did I expect too much? I don’t know (I might’ve expected too much)
It seems like it’ll rain tomorrow
Rain on me, who has dried up
Goodbye, really really goodbye

The young times, really really good goodbye (goodbye)
The me of yesterday, really really good goodbye
~

this is such a happy bouncy song! contrary to the subject matter haha.
~
i dont really know how best to say what i think except via the below poem.... the prosaic version would be: finally letting go of all the anchors that have consciously or subconsciously dragged on my soul, however intermittently. for the times i pretended that it didnt matter at all; recognizing that sometimes its a lost cause before u even start but you just dive headlong in cos you're young & stupid & the ocean's waves are just too strong. but one day even if the boom keeps hitting your head, you find some other way. someone comes along & has some extra oxygen & dive equipment for you. & you finally throw away all the rations you've been keeping on your lifeboat; the ones that expired yrs ago anyway... you find that the tigers you've been fighting & making friends with eventually were half-real, half figments of your imagination.

i'll probably delete this one day but, it needed to be said. that it's not a re-writing; it's a new boat; no; i found dry land :) 

this is probably the most personal poem i have ever written (which is saying alot, haha). and one that i definitely wouldnt fb in case of repercussions. but then again, aforementioned repercussions are probably at the bottom of the oceans with atlantis, so... lol. anyway here goes. anyway, i think the specific connotations would probably be lost on anyone but a certain person, so it doesnt really matter. 

i no longer harbour
any fleeting
feelings

those ships have
sailed with the winds
of change

we weathered
hurricanes
and sea-sickness

they anchored me;
taught me how 
to fish

what lines to use
and not to use
and finally

how to swim
without the krakens
getting you

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