Sunday, December 1, 2013

poor sense of direction

i have no idea what to do with my life once mbbs ends
i dont know what specialty & where to apply for
i don't know where to go for the 2 weeks break or if i should go at all.

there must be a way to find all the answers to life.

i dont know what it is.

what i do know is:
even if a posting is not the most exciting and fulfiling ever, God is in every patient & that's why im in this line. i'm not in it to be a high flyer or a winner. last night i had this epiphany & i was totally ashamed of myself & the way i've been drifting like a fast car. when you think of it as God being in every patient & how you can reverse every reversible cause & make everything the best you can, it all starts to become really meaningful. it's not just about how cute your patient is or how exotic is the disease, it's seeing everyone as a precious child of God, someone he loves & cherishes. then whether you get to present to the consultant or not, whether you get tiptop marks or not, doesn't matter. perspective. honored to be part of this at all. felt so ashamed of myself, that somehow in between all the struggling to get in, that i let all these material achievements overshadow the real point. never let me forget this. 

i think this lunafly song's title is suitable for my life:

dear God, it's me, please help me figure out what to do with my life.
Yours Sincerely, E.

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