Monday, December 30, 2013

1) i am slacking off +++ right now sigh
2) looking at the jitterbugs website for classes, but all the jazz/ contemp intro start at around 630/730pm... i'm fairly sure i wont be able to make it at that time for 6 weeks in a row LOL.

3) happened to read thru my old fb msges & felt really heartwarmed at it all. yknow sometimes, you can feel like... what was the purpose of all that human connection? friendships are so ephemeral & transient & when everyone is no longer on the same continent and on the peripheral visual fields, then everything is forgotten.... in fact i think i myself have forgotten, HAHA. and sometimes, even when we are on the same continent, that doesnt count for much either.... but also of course there are the peeps still around & can be found quite reliably by going to their wards :D  (best way to find a HO/MO btw). but anyway, reading thru the messages was like a really small slice of life, reminding me of the beauty in the transient, ephemeral friendships of the past. im really blessed to have had friends & people around me who were so awesome. and of course there are peeps like kamin & wy who still fb msg me out of the blue. sweetest guys ever seriously

the reason why all these are impt to me is, i mean... dont humans wonder? if we were to dissappear one day, what would the people around us think & feel? would we be missed? would the years spent with people, hanging out & doing crazy stuff, be fondly remembered, or would it just dissipate quietly into the echoes of the wind? so in a way, its kinda like a 1/5th life review... have i done enough, in this life, to make an impression in the lives of others? i hope i didnt traumatise anyone, lol. im sure some people traumatised me, but i guess when we break in one place, we become stronger after (if we survive that). there's some quote about that somewhere. i think i did pretty okay actually, with this life so far. maybe its never good to base anything on what people think of you; actually DEFINITELY we shouldnt, since: EPHEMERAL. but i think its just one facet of life. & in this facet of life, after so many yrs, i conclude that ive actually done an ok job of being human. & thats really impt to me.

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