Wednesday, December 5, 2012

holding onto gravity

i say farewell to the remaining pieces of you
each time i try to erase you,
everything completely breaks down
in this endless time,
in all of this space
again i take the remaining pieces of promises,

each time i think of you,
that time completely freezes up
it's no use even though i try
i cant turn things back like in the movies,
like it was a lie
- nell, white night

The footfalls are strangely heavy.
 I feel as if I sense
the weight of the air.
 As if the entirety of the
world’s gravity sojourns in me.

Even though I try to turn while
 holding back a tear,
 biting down on the lips,
 My heart still faces towards you,

I wonder if I can forget,
 The words that would icily pierce,
 The words of “please let me go”.
 I wonder if they can be forgotten.
 
If you stay, If you leave,
 The end is always the same.
- nell, holding onto gravity

my prayer is just to be able to move on completely. i want to have nothing to do with this, ever again. i dont want to be stuck in this forever. i guess sometimes you hear songs on the radio, or you read poetry, and you feel that it's so beautiful, that it's so meaningful, and that feeds the romantics. i just dont even want to do that anymore. (nell's new songs are beautiful though).

i dont want to hold on to this gravity anymore i don't want to be stuck on this merrygoround anymore. i want to break out of this neverending cycle. the question is just how

sometimes, we get stuck. sometimes it's out of our own volition, cos it's so comfortable/ comforting to stay on the same spot, in the same warm dark space. sometimes we venture out but we always find ourselves back at the same place again. it doesnt have to be a physical spot at all it can be existing nowhere on earth but in a microscopic drawer in your brain. it's so easy to keep coming back to it, the things which cannot be refuted. going round and round the things you know are, and arent true. there isnt anyone to tell you otherwise.

ive tried a thousand times, maybe it will work this time.

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