tomorrow onwards i will be M4!!
m3 feels so young & far away. shiny new white coats, being allowed not to know things & being able to get away with being blur. the other day i got asked a qn on some esoteric corner of medicine and the words 'i dont know, im only m4!' came out of my mouth before i realised that it bears more weight if the speaker is M1/2/3.
what makes it even more milestone-ish is that, had i not had an extra year of knowledge-gathering (so PC hahaha), I would be a final year student now. THAT IS SUCH A SCARY THOUGHT. i am SO glad that i am currently not m5 and doing SIP because.... obviously... i am so not ready for such a thing yet. thank goodness for the extra time for the much needed maturity & emotional growth as a person.
i think overall M3 was pretty good, and i enjoyed it TREMENDOUSLY. it totally lived up to all my pre-med school expectations of the clinical years, how awesomely fun i thought it would be, and how grouchy surgeons can be. and it surprised me with some nice surgeons too haha. and overall it was just very good to me. i read my old archives & this jumped out at me "somehow i feel that it's a series of fortunate events these days", yes that totally sums up the past year.
i definitely put in my best. there can be streamlining & improvements but definitely a good shot :)
anyway so here are my resolutions for M4
1. to actually watch all online videos (cough 5mins anaesthesia video) - edit - i watched two already! great job e, a total of 8 mins of anaesthesia videos, and 1 hr of dramas.
2. to keep running and never give up (both metaphorically and literally)
3. to not forget my love for paeds, but not to let it blind me so much that i miss the forest for the trees, cos honestly all this discussing residency things repeatedly, is so frustrating, we cant really do anything by continually discussing it. but maybe just being in the moment and doing each rotation to the full is good enough. as for which place i'm going to apply for it, seeing as im no deans lister sobs, i still DONT KNOW. but, i'm not going to spend M4 trying to divine it, or M5 either. i'm just going to... wait and see... sighs. and wait for God's perfect will.
and most importantly....
from our daily bread:
I thought of Moses' words to God's people as they prepared to enter the Promised Land: "You shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, and whether you would keep His commandments or not" (Deuteronomy 8:2)
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