today is such a weird day. i dunno why. i feel so... anti-froody. just ate three pineapple tarts & am bumming away my saturday with my anesthesia in trauma & ortho notes in front of me, not that i'm actually studying them
i should be running marathons or cycling across the sahara desert but instead i'm.... bumming.
think i need to have some positive psychology. the equivalent of bag & masking yourself and inhaling happy gases. or maybe the anaesthetic gases are having some depressant effect on me, or maybe its the time of the month... i'm really not sure why. i just suddenly feel so INADEQUATE, so INEFFICIENT, like getting my act together to do all the mustdo things is so IMPOSSIBLE. which, despite the fact that i generally am never very efficient, is not something i bother to beat myself up on a regular basis. or perhaps it's cos the people on my current rotation are all extremely efficient and responsible and professionally conducted people which kinda stresses me out. guh.
i think it must be the gases having a weird effect on my central nervous system or something. bummer. guess i shouldnt be an anesthesiologist.
goals for today
1. make notes for pre-op eval
2. notes for post op complications
3. notes for intra op monitoring
4. RUN 8K
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Every anxious thought that steals my breath It's a heavy weight upon my chest As I lie awake and wonder what the future will hold Help ...