you know, in this world, we are taught that achievements and accomplishments, to look polished, presentable, perfect is of paramount importance
paul, having a "thorn in his flesh", prayed three times to God to have it taken away
"my grace is sufficient for you. for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 corinthians 12:9
from the online commentary (lol, but i thought it was worth noting down for future memory okay) -
So that if an answer be not given to the first prayer, nor to the second, we must hold on, and hold out, till we receive an answer. We have an account of the answer given to the apostle’s prayer, that, although the trouble was not removed, yet an equivalent should be granted.
Though God accepts the prayer of faith, yet he does not always answer it in the letter; as he sometimes grants in wrath, so he sometimes denies in love.
When God does not remove our troubles and temptations, yet, if he gives us grace sufficient for us, we have no reason to complain, nor to say that he deals ill by us.
Grace signifies two things:—
[1.] The good-will of God towards us, and this is enough to enlighten and enliven us, sufficient to strengthen and comfort us, to support our souls and cheer up our spirits, in all afflictions and distresses.
[2.] The good work of God in us, the grace we receive from the fullness that is in Christ our head; and from him there shall be communicated that which is suitable and seasonable, and sufficient for his members. Christ Jesus understands our case, and knows our need, and will proportion the remedy to our malady, and not only strengthen us, but glorify himself.when i am weak, then i am strong
okay, i won't say that right now i am facing super alot of trials, i mean stress comes & goes anyway. i guess i dont know if i'll ever finish, in fact i can't predict what i will do tomorrow, until tomorrow comes, quite literally. actually, i can't even see far enough to KNOW what to do tmr, since i'm generally in such confusion and lack of knowledge that i dont actually KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT. but in the general overview of things, it's okay i guess.
but in the small things & the big things, trust. one of the readings today had this line "he was amazed at their lack of faith"
when i heard that, everything flashed before me. i know that i always say here, how many miracles have been wrought. but the reason i do that, is because i want to always remind myself of it. i never want to forget. but the truth is that it is very hard in daily life when facing all my inadequacies, to believe that the way ahead is smooth. i mean why should it be, just randomly?!
but i guess, that's the essence of faith.
the funny thing is that i used to be obsessive about the pursuit of happiness. i really wanted to know, philosophically speaking, the definition of happiness. but these days, the words that keep popping up in my mind is not that (maybe i have already found happiness..?? hahaha), but belief, trust, FAITH.
after mass, i went to ask the nice priest to pray for not me, because honestly this is all great but i just want to do something good for yknow, SOCIETY, or what is the point of all this i might as well just go play sims3, but for the stuff i am working on now. cos i think the important endpoint is that it actually benefits people. what's the point of making reams of deadwood that just contributes to the general ether of wishywashy, unclear statements. just something that is of use to people & helps the people that my heart goes out to on a regular basis and that are ridiculously cute & adorable. he assured me he would & he agreed heartily with the cause :) yays. & now i am filled with hope x100, even though i am still mired in goodness knows what. and of course i can pray for myself and of course i do. i just suscribe to the belief that the more prayers the merrier haha