Monday, July 23, 2012

i want nobody nobody but you

I HAVE DECIDED

i really wanted to give up because i know it's difficult to get in. but not trying at all, well i think thats just plain stupid. (and unacceptable, to me). if i get it, then all's well and good. but even if i don't, i will have gained so much by trying. i will have become a better person, a better student, a better doctor just by the attempt to improve myself. what's the point of searching everywhere for the perfect thing that fits you and you wanna do, and then giving up cos you think it's too difficult. that's so not me, at all.

even if it's brain boggingly difficult, you never know, if you dont try

so i've decided that i can be mature enough to live with the consequences of this choice. that the potential happiness if this really is my calling after all, is worth more than the sweat and tears it takes to make it there.

i've decided that the calling is too strong to ignore
i've decided that no matter what, there must be a reason for everything. and if the reason for this is merely that it spurs me on to try my best at everything imaginable, then so be it
i've decided that i've come so far and i will not turn back

that between now and whatever nebulous timepoint in the future, i will become what i am expected to be, because i too recognise that i am not yet there, wherever that may be.

i'm ready now, bring it on

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