Wednesday, July 25, 2012

i hate this love song

my story has no real heart or meaning

this is like two minus one
fly far, far away to behind the clouds
erasing all traces from memory;
why does my heart hurt like this

yes i know it sounds like maroon 5, actually the melody IS maroon 5 haha. but anyway they are such good performers here! so cute

in other news, i got totally zhammed during my mini-cex, will never look at a lap chole the same way again. i realise that once you inquire too much about the physiology, i really start to lose it. drawing the oxygen dissociation curve today was really not the high point of the exam, to put it mildly. but i think the high point was successfully ventilating the patient while being quizzed on lots of things haha. anyways i really like being stretched mentally, though maybe not during exams. it was a good learning exercise lah and i passed quite okay so it was allright, although it was a bit traumatising. it's also a good thing since it reminds me that the reason why i cant do anesthesia is the physiology/ physics behind it is too cheem for me. i can handle basic principles but the theory is not too crystal clear in my mind. previous doctors were really too kind. me *drawing up drugs, breaking the ampoules of propofol etc* them "EXCELLENT! GOOD JOB!!* thus luring me into a false delusion that maybe i can DO IT.

somemore my groupmate was supposed to do that case but the consultant asked me to do it coz i had my clinical skills to clear!! i actually bagged and masked plenty of people on the first day but the reg is on leave woots. and charting is SO DIFFICULT. consultant on my charting "mmm... your handwriting needs to be improved" me "yes dr i totally agree"

BUT at least it's cleared!! and lots of things to read up on. then we had a lovely surprise tutorial on subarachnoid haemorrhage (!!) which was awfully cheem, but it was so cool to learn all the stuff! felt thoroughly educated after that. it was quite funny the con asked if we had any more questions and one guy was like "yeah i have a personal question, some time ago i hit my head really hard..." pwahaha

neurosurg tomorrow but unforch since i fell asleep the moment i came home, i havent started reading up arrgh i swear i AM interested! anaesthesia is also the posting in which i ran/ gymmed the LEAST, read HARDLY AT ALL sobs. i forsee a lot of runs on the horizon

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