he gives miracles so that there will be faith. he gave them to me, not because as i thought, i had believed, but because if not, i may not have believed. but i must say, the past happy year of rainbow-colored macarons, should enable me to believe for a really long time in the goodness of the next few ones :) it was really a very happy one i must say, possibly the happiest ever
i have found my answer. i wanted to think there was a complicated logic behind it all and if i thought about it enough the puzzle pieces would unravel, and form the picture that i wanted. and there is a very specific picture that i wanted.
but it isn't about that at all.
your ways are higher than my ways
i dont think i can doubt that this way is far better than anything i had imagined.
even if there is something behind it all, i strongly doubt i am meant to understand it right now. so maybe i should quit trying.
because something tells me that i have been doing it right, reccently. finally. for the first time in my life, i am learning what it really means to be a human being, and somehow not let any balls drop when i'm juggling them. this year, time seemed to stretch. the more i did the things i knew were right, the more somehow everything seemed to fit.
and even though this seemed so out of sync with the theme of nowadays, actually, it fits perfectly too. its the best, kindest way, that He could ever have done it.