Friday, June 22, 2012

believe

all in all, it adds up to this. the words i keep saying these days. what do they really mean. i'm not even asking for a planet, or a star. i just, i dont know what i want. all i know is that this is really tiring. so let's not focus on that

nice things
1. random words of encouragement from the really sleepy post call ho. i dont even think she was directly encouraging me even, but nevertheless. possibly the only encouraging thing the entire day. or week. or something like that

2. seeing enthusiastic m3s wandering all over in their brandnew white coats. it almost makes me feel nostalgic about m3 even though i remember it was a really exhausting year. but then i come back as usual to a bevy of whatsapp msgs from my cg "what's up guys, i teleported twice today" loL. thanks guys for making m3 a year to look fondly back upon :):) lets make m4 awesomely fun as well! i promise to deliver no scandals, lots of laughs, and hopefully un-lame jokes!

3. high kick. an introduction to architecture.

it's one of those times, where i can see that there is some overarching Purpose, but i cant see how long until the resolution comes.
it's one of those times, where I just keep telling myself 'trust in God. trust in God' until the words dont even have meaning anymore.
where i just keep stalking the things i have to stalk, and wonder why.
it doesnt have to be this way, you know...

God takes time to work,  i understand that perfectly. but this is a very normal thing that can easily be solved and in the usual course of things should be no problem at all. for like five minutes i sunk into the usual "oh, its me, tell me about it, story of my life" thing. then i remembered, it hasn't been like that for ages and it will not be anymore. i won't let it.

why God, why. i really hope there is an excellent reason for this, because... GRAH. what can i say. im sure you can see my point of view perfectly. i am incapable of understanding, so i just hope & pray that everything will be okay. i dont know what okay is, either. i'll just do what i have to do to the best of my capability. i guess if everything went perfectly, id start to get suspicious too. like how can everything be so perfect, right. but this is JUST so random.

oh well.

keep on going

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