Friday, May 4, 2012

twelfth night

things i want to do
1. watch twelfth night at fort canning
2. just go to london and spend one month watching all the plays on west end/ the smaller venues around. infact i think i shall apply to ormond street for electives or sth. [wail. no john hopkins?! then again, i shouldnt embarrass myself infront of my idol.]

random loveliness from interval drinks
"the stick-on plastic stars on the bedroom ceiling have never deigned to glow in the dark"

i'm beyond study fatigue. still on neonatology. something tells me my study breaks are a little too long. i dont really have much of a concept of time anymore. have to resort to setting my timer on my phone to remind myself of this abstract, strange thing. its like when i was ninja-ing all my mandatory mini-cexes for surg and i forgot to wear my watch on the day i did my thyroid test HAHA so i downloaded a stopwatch thingy on my phone using the wifi in the driveway just before driving off, and i whipped it out as i was taking the pulse of the patient. j ng was like "you use your phone to count the pulse rate?!"

am really not sure, if this calmness & peace is a grace-filled one, or if its becos i am just TOO CALM FOR MY OWN GOOD AND THIS IS BAD. yea i know i dont sound calm now but in reality i'm just like lalalala *oh, a goat!* yes, that. but at least im not hyperventilating and grasshoppering from one topic to another and being unable to study and needing to watch dramas to actually physically calm myself down. at least i'm still doing endorphine-inducing runs instead of just becoming a neuron-filled sack of adipose and feeling crappy abt myself & life. at least im studying important topics thoroughly. like yesterday i did DM and hypertension and these are IMPORTANT TOPICS PEOPLEEE. no really they are lor. or was it yesterday?

... i did say im losing track of time

anyway, it could be better, but it could be worse. i kinda dislike this waking up every morning & knowing i have to fight yet another neverending battle between time and determination and the kitchen. but then when i do cross things off my list it feels great. that said im getting a little obsessive abt crossing things off and list making. must i really make a check box for each past yr paper i do or count how many qns left... okay whatever. DOCUMENTATION & accountability!

and to fight the urge to snack i am finally in the library with fellow human beings. i havent been out of the house for a VERY LONG TIME. such happiness as i drove off this morning at ~950am and SO EARLY wow wonders will never cease. my day-night reversal is reversing! unfortunately revelling in this i missed the right turn and had to walk really far from the admin block into the library building. and then i had to walk thru the hosp so ermmm we're banned from the hospital right now so i kept thinking pple would apprehend me at any time. quite the journey fraught with apphrehension.

and now i must really finish neonatology. measuring babies' heads reminds me of marlow

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Through the fire