Tuesday, May 15, 2012

beyond stats

i typed beyond stars. haha

wj's post is really so inspiring. it's more beautiful than anything i could ever write. the reason i write poetry is that in daily life, my whining is far from inspiring or motivating.

dont know why but images of the past were cycling past my eyes at 100km/h. of things irrevocable, no matter how we try. it made me realise that, even though i can't change the past, i can change the present. that's all we can ever do.

even though i'm so human and more flawed than the average human being, somehow the most unlikely miracles keep happening to me. i think i know more than anyone else that i dont deserve these things. rg, medicine, coming back, winning the debate. how did God change my flaws into such perfection? it's really beyond my comprehension.

i think it's all linked, somehow.
some great revelation

but one thing i must say. i dont think, that i was meant to learn from that experience & then throw the memory away or wash it away with the soapsuds. even if i was meant to, thats the furthest from the truth possible. i think about it all the time. how i could have done it better, what i could have changed. i never come up with any answers. i dont think i learnt anything from it except how to hurt. i dont ever let myself get even one milimeter close to such a situation with anyone. but probably i couldnt, ever again.

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