yesterday was really brill, sitting in the warm sunlight with all the time in the world, reading up for my upcoming 2 weeks with the breast team. and then jazz combinations. and did i mention it started with cranberry almond cereal? and the day before that was call.
today... is dreary rain, the same old things coming up again, the same old wondering of why im not perfect enough to plug the holes other people make, wondering if i should even try to make up for shortcomings that arent my fault, but feeling too inhuman if i dont bother trying. knowing i have in the past, done plenty that technically should cover for forever, but no actually, it doesnt work that way. i'm sure it will be fine though.
haha on a random note,
the other day j asked me for a good case, and i was feeling guilty cos the other day i had been doing uro clinics the whole day so when he asked me i said i had nothing and he was like "you are in the hepatobiliary team. and you have no good case." [me: i haven't seen a patient the whole day!!] so i gave him a patient i personally had been DYING to clerk, btw, but since its post op i told him to take a history. hahaha so 1 hr later in the MO room i meet j and he practically howls "the patient you gave me, it was an incidental finding!!"
luckily he already knew the patient since actually it was from his own team hahahaha so its not like he spent hours clerking, not like c who in ttsh did an observed history taking from a patient with some haematological disorder discovered only on lab tests haHAHA and it was all in TAMIL when actually he only speaks hindi and anyway neither me nor our tutor understands what was going on and the whole time our tutor was dying to go home for some family dinner yes that was epic. i myself didnt know the diagnosis btw or i would have stopped him.
hahahh the trials of being a med student. although in the words of my ho "actually what do you do all day ah. i mean i was a student myself a few months ago but i've completely forgotten now" and "aiya its quite nice right, if you feel tired you can just put your head down and sleep and no one will call you. and if you feel sian, can just go home" rather telling of his innermost wish to sleep/ go home/ go home and sleep LOL. and of the ho from the other half of my team, overheard "actually i've lost track of what day it is already".
jokes aside, i love this, times one hundred.
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