Tuesday, March 20, 2012

rainbow cookies

when i saw that pop up in my email, it reminded me of the rainbow on the way home from church again. right after i wrote the post saying "i dont believe in rainbows anymore". sometimes it really feels like sunshine after the rain. God's promise, that the rain will never come like that again. if you just hold on to that, everything will be ok.

momentarily i chanced upon two things which evoke reminders of some things. expecting to feel a certain way, i was surprised to feel that i only feel a deep sense of peace.

maybe of hope, of assurance that some paths were so bramble, rosethorn filled, that i was not ever to go down them. of things i was being protected from that i couldnt even imagine. of mercies given that i was unworthy of, but given anyway. of past good things done when i felt like no one was around to say "welldone" or give me brownies for doing them, being finally, finally recognized by whom it really matters.

rainbow cookies... that just seems to exemplify everything happy in life. sugar-filled promises. the icing on the cake. whipping up happiness for everyone, watching Promises take shape; take on colors. i don't really know what the future holds, but when i remember that day, being so sleepy and not expecting any miracle or anything, just a usual sunday, going about the usual stuff, trying to hold myself together between one week and another

it gives me hope. i never believed in rainbows before that day, it never held even an iota of significance or poetic metaphoric importance. and so today, seeing even the words made me remember. it wasn't even just one. there were two rainbows, and they followed us all the way home.

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