Sunday, March 4, 2012

a child asked, what is the grass?

whoever you are holding me now in hand
walt whitman

without one thing, all will be useless
the way is suspicious, the result uncertain

but just possibily with you on a high hill -
or possibly with you sailing at sea, or on the beach
of the sea, or some quiet island,

but these leaves conning, you con at peril,
for these leaves, and me, you will not understand,

for it is not for what i have put into it that I
have written this book,
nor is it by reading it you will acquire it

nor will my poems do good only - they will do
just as much evil, perhaps more;

therefore release me and depart on your way
~

poem of the day! literally, this is the first thing that landed in my inbox this morning, thanks to poets.org.

right now, all i know about life is that... i am going to watch sleeping beauty in dec.

PLANS
sun - finish writeup
mon - DRIVE MYSELF TO SGH. OT?! tut.
tues - uro clinics, exciting radio tutorial, buy chocolate cake materials from holland v
wed - tuts, BAKE CHOCOLATE CAKE, finish up writeup for real.
thurs - uro clinics all day long + dinnerparty @ night
fri -  hand up writeup!
sat - uro clinics (omg on a sat. oh well i remember when i used to work at sgh before med school i wanted to be a urologist haha coz of this female urologist who wrote this extremely entertaining blog. i think it's urostream.blogspot.com. lol i hope you're thrilled, eighteen year old past self. but it's okay! i like doing things! i hatee walking up and down the hallways of the hospital aimlessly waiting for ward rounds/ poking my head into random MO rooms in hopeful search of people.)
sun - study breast examination/ chapter in andre tan/ burkitts

nextmon - new team! apparently this team is very nice ++

next few weeks
- try to get paeds project [follow up on existing lead, pressurize people who are supposed to help me get new lead, etc etc]
- try for korea [email different people in hopes they will reply my email]
did i mention i hate electives?
- try to revise ortho hahahahaha
- ask glenn about combattraining... sooon! today maybe. ah i dont know man. i think i do want it, but it's just how to BALANCE MY LIFE around it. also the thing about how i might suck at it, but whatever maN. i suppose i can do it 1-2x per week. okay that sounds like a lot. maybe once a week. that might take me like one year to recoup the cost HAHAh. i suppose i can wear my biking gloves, that saves me from buying gloves. also how to keep in my memory extra stuff. also AURGHHH okay i'll just go for the training if they'll let me teamteach AFTER exams. aurgh what if i fail the evals [what fail the evals, i am SUPERWOMAN rmb i haven't failed anything in a looong time since like... PHYSICS, and MATHS and btw i got 4.0 for maths in the end clearly i can do anything i put my mind to]. anyway, there's not much diff whether i am doing the combat class, or giving the combat class. i guess i'll just sign up for fun & if the timing is right, & they really need more people & they're nice about the timetabling i'll actually do it for reals. because i mean come on, you dont ever regret that you did too much, you only regret that you didnt do cool stuff. so. yes. soon. i will.

sorry world if you're reading this, must be v boring, however i really need to be accountable to myself since left to my own devices i would basically be vegetating at home watching dramas or something, the only time i actually enthusiastically study/ clerk patients/ have a clear idea of my lifeplans was like... during paeds posting. the rest of the time is just.... bumming through life.

baking plans
1. sugar cookies MUST MAKE SOON before the piping tip/ cookie cutters dissappear.
2. chocolate cake ditto, also hello we need to eat it on thurs

other plans
1. learn korean
2. learn french (survival strat come may/june)

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