one year ago, after inbibing of pastries, tarts, and chocolate fountains, i wrote:
and then there was debate, like always. many dreams, so intricately tied to debate. i remember inviting people to watch, having such complete self-faith. i have never had such self-posession as then, never believed so whole-heartedly in my ability to deliver, never known so well about everything and nothing. the stage and microphones and the arrangement of the chairs reminded me of someplace deep inside myself i would never dare to awaken again.
OMG. it's literally like a dream come true. :) i woke up this morning & my first thought was WE WON; the second thought was crap... there were so many photos taken haha. but in any case, i'm just REALLY glad x 100 of everything. after all the stress, gastroparesis, and everything (only in the preceding few days really hahaha), to have such an outcome is just so fantabulous. but i also know this: Glory be to God. i want to v much, but probably shouldn't really post this on a more public place because, i think maybe its not good to publicize that i am v lousy & actually it's all thanks to the answered prayers. when i find the right words, i will, i will.
but here, i can say THANK YOU God for allowing me to speak so coherently (not something that happens so often, hahaha!!) and thank you for the speakers that went before me that essentially warmed everyone up allowing them to laugh at my jokes. thank you for my amazing teammates whom i had so much fun preparing with & who are just such affable, chilled out people in real life & understanding. thank you for all my friends, both the m4's & my cgmates and also the cms people - rach & sandesh. really showed me all over again God's grace in giving me friends in nus. it's all over again "what God has brought you to, he will bring you through it". literally.
and to xian ying, who made the most awesome props eveR, thank you a million!
i really felt so extremely proud to have done a gd job to represent my faculty & i am so happy that most imptly the people who watched were entertained. that was our ultimate goal all along
now i have to
1) sort out electives as my old project fell through
2) study for fam med eopt
3) do fam med writeup
4) study for end of year exams
5) pack up all the whitefrilly things floating around my room
i know that i never like to be complacent & assume God will do miracles for me. so its not that i dont believe, but i also know that the world really doesnt owe me/ anyone anything! but sometimes, things like this, act as a pillar of memory, so that when things look sticky & you want to believe but can't, you remember that He came through for me, so many times before and you continue to run, beyond the marathon wall, beyond the safety markers in the sea, and you know that you're not running alone, for He is with you.
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