Friday, January 13, 2012

what i talk about when i talk about running

 "If you can't understand it without an explanation, you can't understand it with an explanation." - 1Q84

reccently i've been feeling atpeace with my future plans, which is nice. hehe. although i dont think that the dept is exactly going to poll all my friends & random tutors for my suitability, i just feel like the universe is planting signs & encouragement my way, like positive reinforcement, for my Dream

and linked with that, is the other parts of my Dream... i think that it will happen, yes, but i can't continue on this arc i'm going on now. i need to change Things, i need to do about a hundred diifferent other things, half of which i have some idea what to do and the other half of which i have no clue. but i just thought that it was a really good wakeup call.

in light of that, and trusting in God, i dont think i want to do what i agonised abt doing on friday. i dont think i'll have the time to machinate what i was planning to, and if all these yrs He has stopped me everytime i wanted to finally do it, i dont think that it can have been a coincidence. so then that begs the qn - what was the POINT of that whole shebang. maybe things dont have to have a point. maybe the beginning five minutes was the main point and the next few years were unimportant whitenoise. i always try to read too much into everything *cough poetry during lit class* and maybe, even for God's plan; ESPECIALLY for it, it's not really meant to be for me to dissect like a poem. or maybe i can dissect it all i want but the things i come up with arent really His intention anyway

just have been feeling like understandings click into place, and am glad for it.

realized, that the reason i feel so much peace about my futures now, is because i trust God to sort it out for me :)

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