Monday, November 7, 2011

wonder world


the people responsible for inducting me into k-pop, and thereby giving me HOURS of happiness, increased productivity, joy, running, etc...

seriously, sometimes i think the greatest joy in life is to run out at 630am with your ipod and feel completely invincible

haha. nah, there are greater joys. but that particular one is pretty awesome.

on an unrelated note

i didnt know it was this possible to want something so badly... which is something indeed, coming from me. will it, will it not, will it, will it not....what i am just amazed about is that i keep doing silly stuff and still the doors have not closed. wow. that in itself, is something to be amazed about. i would give it all up to God as usual if i were a better human being. i hardly think i can expect anything from the universe, i dont even earn my keep by being a worthy human being and SAVING LIVES or whatever. long long way to go

maybe the point is to make me really want it

(uh... i have wanted many things in the past. i dont think it works like that)

today's sermon/ gospel was about the bridesmaids who fell asleep/ didn't bring enough oil. to cut a long story short, when they finally proccured the oil, the groom (ie Jesus) locked the doors & said he did not know them. the (bigger) moral of the story: we don't know the hour or day He will come

the smaller(?) moral: BE PREPARED

goodness i was STRONGLY reminded of my mini-cex which i was really highly unprepared for in every single sense of the word. & rushing there, without half my equipment, without the form even. gah gah gah. it's all material stuff, i know, doesnt count, small percentage etc... all that is not relevant. what gets me is that i was unprepared. and that really freaks me out

that said, being a slave to the material desires of this world (visions of dresses, bags, holidays to dream locales, indulging in endless movies and music) oh goodness i feel like going to a cave now. anyway even after chasing the papers and things... even if i manage to be prepared enough for the challenges of the secular world, i am so NOT prepared for that of the endtimes.

so the being chronically unprepared, chronically taking odd ways to do things, that really freaks me out SO much. i dont think there is a second chance, when it comes to eternal life. we just have to live our lives properly NOW.

religious musings aside,

i am SO BAD at learning my lesson. how many times must i shoot myself in the feet before i realise. gah

note to whoever might read this: this isnt angst! haha just trying to figure Life out. and CATHARSIS YO

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