Saturday, December 5, 2009

think i've been thinking way too much about life. everything seems so much less and more than what it is. but then maybe if you see things for what they are you'd just die of boredom. no there are interesting things out there.

i now dont think anyone can save anyone. i just wanna find a cave. i know exactly what leads irrevocably to happiness but i cant do it right now. SO I AM V. UNHAPPY. graH. well not unhappy unhappy. just. oh well. green grass etc.

i'm now minus 1000 hours behind my schedule
doing horrible cals which i dunno if will be tested or not. for ulcerative colitis. yes still. i highly doubt i can run tmr but i feel like crap. UGHHHHHHHH. i need grays but then i really will fail. i am being boring i know. but i no longer care what anyone thinks.

anyway, since quite a long time ago, i ceased to care. unlikely as it may seem, even tho one or two people do affect me, truthfully. you were the one thing i ever wanted and since then i couldnt be bothered to be honest. haha. story of my life. reason why i can stand shiz is because if i cant have that, no other happiness is worth it.

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