Friday, December 11, 2009

hmm i guess you just have to keep trying. keep sifting to find the people you can trust with your secrets and follibles. who can be bothered with them. took a walk down pathways of the past instead of the ascending pathways to the head, sigh. but it was nice :) friendships may be born out of seeing people everyday etcetc (altho not true, cos obviously there's something that draws you to someone), but it's what happens afteR that counts. but time differences :( is a really big barrier too.

but have never really been one to regret. if anything i hold on too loosely to friendships cos maybe, all the shifting around in sec sch? i dont regret it one bit because i had an amazing time. i cant turn back the clock to see if it would have been amazing the way i would have continued on. but i have to say that after the shift, i fitted perfectly in. like seriously it fitted me like... an enzyme fits a substrate in the lock & key hypothesis. the thing is that i didnt really keep in touch with wf jaime daph etc etc. and i forgot all that so easily that... it's been sorta ingrained in me from young that the point is to be happy in the here and now. well i did think of them until quite long but debate really busified me a lot and there is only so much one can look back upon honestly.

anyway, random reflections brought on by talking to x. all our madness then over... nothing?! no really if none of us had such intentions then how did it get so messed up again?! i dont remember why also i just remember a lot of drama and random stuff. and that we were actually really tolerant of each other. its a good place to grow your self esteem, it really is. somehow i became able to do things alone and be happy, yet do things with people and be happy? i guess, i learnt how to live with myself. AND RUSH WORK LAST MINUTE. LIKE NOW. havta love rg. i can dooo this

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Through the fire