Sunday, December 13, 2009

have barely studied today. except a half-hearted attempt at optic nerves, and now watching blackadder while being stuck in the mire of the one million metabolism cals.

have a lot of things to say about trust, but half-formed thoughts. not a good place, nor time. just that small things really do matter, do add up. and that i just want the exam to come NOW NOW NOW.

also i have been eating a lot of oatmeal. because i'm literally too busy bumming to walk down to SAINSBURYS even. which is 5 minutes from my house. wanted to run but i knew id feel too guilty about it. so. guilt free bumming. dlghljdbjlv

also maybe its not true that everything will be ok. unremembered yeah, but okayness, whatever that means. i kind of liked the self i built for myself. although it was a house of cards bound to come crashing down. by being nice friendly etc etc i actually believed myself. if onlY i was like that 24/7. instead i know at the core all i wish to do is run. run away from everything and everyone, run away from running even. i think i am pretty much a cool person for the first five minutes of accquaintance. or also, if you haven't seen me for a long time. then i'd be really interesting. apart from that, i probably talk too much about random things to fill time and space. oh well. i always liked personal space.

forgive my ramblings. noT a good study day. the only thing about this day is quaker oats is earning alot of $$ from me. good for them. and exams mess up my brains big time. dysphasia? maybe broca's area... omg omg. just too many things clogging up my head. so now all the redundant feelings are spilling out. confessed some things to _______ reccently, proof of that. dont really know why i trotted all that out either. its quite funny lah. sitting here not-studying is normal but then the idea of all them memories coming out pensive style cos there's no more space in my brain... LOL. right easily amused obviously.

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