Friday, August 28, 2009

really tired, but a good kinda tired. my days have started fizzing up with activity, which is not bad. if anything, i have missed long bus rides, i take stuff along to read sometimes, but i like just watching sg whizz by, watching the rain skim the window, the sunlight on the seats. are conclusions maybe dangerous? but it literally hurts the brain, mine at least, to accept that things are un-understandable, there is NO POINT.

interesting discussions, i begin to see (THANKFULLY, the opacity of it all nearly equals the tensions of uncertainty) slight? reason in it all. anyway, the general consensus seems to be that God doesn't give bad things mostly, he -allows- it to happen (and i believe, turns it to good?) but some pple believe it's to make you stronger, hmm. but wtv, i like believing this path is meant to be... and i am constantly reminded that it's not an easy path to get on..


To be alive

by Gregory Orr

To be alive: not just the carcass
But the spark.
That's crudely put, but…
If we're not supposed to dance,
Why all this music?
____________________

conclusions are dangerous, i dangerously conclude. everytime i go off on a tirade about something, i inevitably get proven wrong. people simply believe they are right, and it's just fun to have fun, i completely agree.

anyway i walked into a glass door just now, there must be some symbolism about this i just don't see.

i dont get how things are almost always better & worse than you imagine, it gets tiring having to comphrehend these dualities simultaneously

i haven't run for really long, saving it for in the winter months, running through the meadows

i feel like i'm coming back after a shopping spree, hanging all my new shiny thoughts (much battered from the journey and half-forgotten) in the cupboard and rumaging through them trying to rmb what i saw in them. but i did think these things. maybe bus journeys aren't THAT conducive for deep thinking huh, should'a learnt a language at least isn't it oops well only two weeks more.

TWO WEEKS. better make it count is all i know.

and the thing is despite all these rather lame thoughts, which i just have to put down to justify having thought them, give them an airing, so to speak, i know what matters in the end. (assuming maslow's basic hierachy of needs is met). and its not really cupcakes chilling in front of the computer, cats, cars etc, although i must say i like these things. it could be coffee, the cha-cha, and counting how many coughs one's cured, though. sorry this is extremely lame but i couldn't resist. lol

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Through the fire